


Earth's Weaknesses: Part Two

by WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter



Series: Earth's Weaknesses: The 100 [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Brotp, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Epic Friendship, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Major Original Character(s), Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, POV Original Female Character, Slow Burn, The 100 (TV) Season 2, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, badass as all hell, basically a slow burn of bellamy x oc, sort of canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 06:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 37,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23966716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter/pseuds/WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter
Summary: Part 2 of 7Set during season 2 of The 100. After the battle against the Grounders, most of which died in the inferno caused by the dropship, Alyssa wakes up to find the dropship's door open, and everyone else gone.Instantly, she knows she has to find her friends. The only question is how?Will she survive? Will her friends?Series.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Original Female Character(s), Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Jasper Jordan/Maya Vie, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: Earth's Weaknesses: The 100 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722190
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Where Did Everyone Go?

The dropship shook as the rockets fired, the inferno they created taking down everything within the camp’s limits and then some. I wiped my forehead with my sleeve and realised it came away sticky with blood. Since that seemed like a problem for another day, and I wasn't entirely sure if it was my blood or not, I checked that I was strapped in properly and closed my eyes. 

When I woke up, the dropship door was open.

_But there was no one there._

~

Looking around warily, I climbed down from the tree— falling part of the way thanks to a combination of the wound in my leg, the fact that the tree was burnt from the middle down, and the fact that the pain in my shoulder had decided _now_ was the time to do an encore. I grunted, checking the stab-wound in my leg. Not much blood, it wasn’t deep, but it was uncomfortable. I wasn’t poisoned though, that much was true. If I _had_ been poisoned, I’d know, and the fall from the tree wouldn’t have mattered because I would be too unconscious to notice. And then I’d be dead.

There was no one around, so it was safe to investigate. First, I walked around the edge of the former campsite, picking up weapons here and there, mostly knives. I stashed them in the various pockets and pouches I had in my jacket, cargo pants, and boots. I sifted through the wreckage, trying to see if there was anything useful. No such luck.

A twig cracked nearby and I held my breath, slowly backing away from the sound until I had my back pressed against a small portion of the wall that was still standing. Without making a sound, I slid a knife down my sleeve, into my hand, and waited. The Grounder walked past, barely noticing me as he bent down to inspect the corpse of one of his tribe on the floor. Standing up, with a clear look of vengeance, he made his way towards the dropship and stepped inside. 

I stood up, making my way towards it and hoping to cut him off in there. Just as I was about to board, a gunshot rang out, and I heard the Grounder fall to the floor. That meant that there had to be at least one person left. One person who wasn’t a Grounder, and knew how to shoot a gun. I took a step forward and heard their uneven breathing as they tried to lift the gun again. 

Peeling back the parachute covering the entry, I raised my hands in surrender as I walked in. “Don’t shoot, I— _Raven_?” She lay there on the floor, gasping and groaning on her back as she lay the gun down. I ran to my friend’s side, easing her upright. “What the hell happened? Where is everybody?” 

At that moment, I heard movement behind me and I shot around, holding up the knife. The figure’s shadow appeared behind the parachute and it wasn’t that of a grounder. The shadow had messy hair, a slight build and a limp. When Murphy came through the door I launched myself at him, tackling him to the floor. “Murphy you son of a bitch! You never should’ve come back here,” I straddled his chest, ignoring the fact that his hands were bound as I held the knife to his throat. “You almost killed Bellamy, and you shot Raven. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you.” 

He sighed, “Because I’m already probably dying, same as her.” Murphy’s bound hands gestured in the direction of Raven. “There’d be no point. Plus, I haven’t fully recovered from the last time you stabbed me.” 

I looked at his hand and saw that it was still bandaged, but the wound didn’t look brilliant and he was probably right. I said as I thought, “I’d be keeping a promise I made, which seems to be a pretty good point to me.”

“Look,” Murphy refused to struggle, just lay there on the floor as I pinned him down. “I—” We were interrupted by Raven, who started to cough and gasp, leaning over as blood trickled out of her mouth. “Lie on your side, lie on your side! Trust me!”

Bad choice of words, “Why the hell would I trust you?” I spat, pushing him into the floor before getting up and going to Raven, helping her lie on her side. Murphy rolled onto his side and sat up, crawling over to where we were and wiping Raven’s mouth with a cloth. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Why are you helping her?”

“Because I don’t want to die alone,” he whispered. I sat down with my back against the wall next to Raven, who looked worse and worse for wear. “I’m sorry for shooting you,” Murphy said to her. 

“What about almost killing Bellamy, you sorry about that? What about holding me and Jasper hostage, huh?” I pressed on, ignoring the fact that he squirmed uncomfortably. 

Murphy looked at his hands instead of at me as he replied, “I did what I thought I had to do at the time. I’m sorry for taking you and Jasper hostage, because you two ironically aren’t as bad as the rest of them, but… I was only making Bellamy feel how I felt, when you lot almost murdered me.”

 _If he was talking about times_ I _had almost murdered him, he’d need to be more specific._ “When they tried to hang you for Wells’ murder? How does it make you any better than them, killing them for what they tried to do to you?”

He scoffed, “Isn’t that how you ended up in the Skybox? Revenge murder?”

“You don’t know shit about why I was in the Skybox,” I snapped, falling silent with annoyance. He didn't know the entire story. 

Raven changed the topic, watching Murphy as he pulled a bandage off his leg and replaced it. “How’d you get to be such a dick, Murphy?”

You know what? I’d been thinking the same thing. 

“I said I’m sorry for shooting you, okay?” He sighed, “Is that not what you want to hear?”

“Let me guess, maybe Mommy and Daddy didn’t love you?” whispered Raven.

Murphy leant his head on one hand once he had finished with the wound dressing. “No, they loved me.” 

Raven raised an eyebrow, “Are you gonna cry, Murphy?”

“Screw you, Raven.” 

“No, tell me.” She pressed on, “I want to know. How does a kid who’s loved by his parents turn into a murdering psychopath?”

“He gets the flu. His father steals medicine that turns out wouldn’t help anyway, gets floated for it. And his mother, she starts drinking… pretty heavily after that and… last words she says to him before he finds her in a pool of her own vomit is that…” he took a breath. “Is that he killed his father.”

“Boo-hoo,” Raven whispered back, but she managed a small smile at him which he returned, a few tears making tracks in the dried blood on his cheeks. But his story stuck in my head. There were a surprising amount of parallels between him and me. 

“Aren’t you interested in my story? It’s a long one, though.” I lay down and faced the ceiling. 

“Haven’t you noticed? We’ve got _all_ the time in the world,” Murphy laughed, tilting his head back and leaning it against the ladder.

Raven nodded, “Might as well, what are you waiting for?”

I rested my hands on my chest before starting, taking comfort in feeling the steady rise and fall that told me I was still alive and remembering the last person I told this story to… and wondering if _he_ was still alive. “My dad was a dick. Most of the rations we got on the Ark he ate, or traded them to the guy next door for booze. One of his other favourite things to trade was my mom, just for afternoons, sometimes evenings. The guy was a douche, but whatever else he’d done I _know_ what he did with my mom was worse. When I was fourteen, I tried to tell someone about it, but they brushed me off— convinced I didn’t know what I was talking about— and everything went quiet. That was when I started practicing self-defence, although it wasn’t easy considering I didn’t have a partner to practice _with_. A year later… my mom had just had enough, I guess…” I trailed off, gathering up the courage to continue. It was weird, it wasn’t as easy this time around as it had been with Bellamy. That, and since the jobi nut incident, I wasn’t faring too well on that topic. “So she killed herself. My dad didn’t find her… I did. I didn’t get what had happened first, but once I figured it out… I knew why. So I stole a load of my dad’s stuff, traded it for a gun. I tucked the gun inside my jacket, paid my lovely neighbour a visit…” My eyes strayed towards the gun by Raven’s leg. “It’s pretty self-explanatory from there onwards.” 

Raven tried to hide her shock, the only thing she managed to say was… “ _Shit_.” 

Murphy didn’t say anything at all, but his resident glare softened as he began to realise that maybe we weren’t so different after all. 

“Wait, Alyssa. Why weren’t you with the others?” Raven asked, realising that I had been at the battle but not disappeared like everyone else.

“I was still fighting, got Clarke to shut the door with me still on the outside so I could finish a couple more off. Managed to get far enough away before the rockets fired up so I didn’t get torched… woke up and found the dropship opened and everyone gone.” I shrugged, “I’m as confused as you are about what happened, but I’m glad I stayed out. I managed to catch a guy before he went after Finn and Bellamy."

Raven’s eyes snapped onto me, “Finn’s alive?” 

“Quite possibly, I’m pretty sure they were out of the blast radius by the time it went off. I have no idea what happened to them though. But I am definitely going to try my hardest to find out. Don’t move, I’ll be right back.” I stood up to climb the ladder.

“Where am I gonna go?” Raven laughed.

I searched the second level, coming back down with some nuts and berries (not jobi nuts). I tossed the packs through the hole before climbing down the ladder. As my feet hit the dropship floor, pain blazed through my leg like it was on fire and I tried to bite back a wince. The stab wound wasn’t deep, but it wasn’t pretty either.

“What are you doing?” Murphy raised an eyebrow.

I sighed, “Food, duh?”

“How about you put that down and let me take a look at that leg?” 

“How about I grab a medkit and _I_ take a look at my own leg?” I suggested.

He laughed, “Suit yourself.” 

There weren’t any supplies left on the base level, so ignoring my pain I climbed the ladder again. I rifled through what was left up here which weirdly was more than I’d expected. It was like they didn’t realise they were about to leave. There weren’t any weapons left behind, apart from a couple of knives I’d hidden in various places around the ship, but the medical stuff was still here, it was just all the people that were gone. It couldn’t have been Grounders… the man I’d seen outside didn’t seem to look like he’d just taken fifty prisoners. He looked like someone who had lost three hundred of his tribe. Plus, there’s no way the Grounders would have taken all of them prisoner, they would have slaughtered them and left them here. If not them, then who?

A noise downstairs distracted me from my thoughts. Footsteps. They wouldn’t have been Murphy, he has a limp… and it certainly wouldn’t be Raven… Ignoring the pain in my leg I dropped down the ladder wincing but with my knife at the ready. Two adults were in the dropship, one leaning down next to Raven and the other standing near the door with a large gun. They weren’t Grounders, they were from the Ark? I looked over, realising that Raven had fallen back unconscious. 

“Raven, Raven honey it’s Abby,” The woman kneeling next to her whispered, stroking her face. Abby. Abby… _Abby Griffin_. 

“Shit, you’re Clarke’s mom? We thought you were dead?” My eyebrows shot up as I took in the other adult. “And… Kane.”

Raven’s eyes fluttered open, and Abby breathed a sigh of relief. “Clarke’s not here,” Raven whispered, causing Abby to look around in confusion. 

“We don’t know where she is, or where any of the others are. Some of them I think managed to escape before the explosion… the others weren’t here when I came back.” I leant against the ladder for support, for once it wasn’t the stab wound that hurt but it was my knee more than anything else, thanks to my dramatic entrance through the hatch.

“What happened to you?” Abby asked Raven, her eyes filled with worry. 

Raven glanced at Murphy before replying, “I got shot. I got shot.” 

Kane stuck his head out through the parachute and called out, “We need a stretcher.” He held out a hand to help Murphy to his feet and slung his arm over his shoulders to help him down out of the dropship. I stayed back slightly to collect the remainder of my hidden knives as Abby tended to Raven, but as I was about to leave the dropship I heard Murphy’s voice from the other side of the parachute. “Bellamy. You’re… You’re alive…”

 _Bellamy was alive?_

I burst through the parachute just as Bellamy tackled Murphy to the ground, “You murdering son of a bitch!” He punched him repeatedly, Murphy’s breaths coming out in uneven gasps between punches. Kane nodded at the guard beside him, who pulled out his weapon. 

“Hey!” I tossed a knife before I even realised what I was doing, catching and burying itself in the hand holding the shock baton. I ran forward, grabbing Bellamy and pulling him from Murphy. “Believe me, I wanted to. But you were right before— he’s not worth it.” 

Bellamy turned around at my words, his eyes growing wide as he realised it was me. Before saying anything else I wrapped my arms around him, my eyes brimming with tears. “They shut the door, you were behind us and then you weren’t… I thought you were dead,” he whispered into my hair. 

I managed to force a laugh, “Can’t save your ass if I’m dead now, can I? I had unfinished Grounder business on the battlefield, I waited until the very last second before getting out. I hid out in one of the trees up there, threw some knives from above.” 

“That was you?” I felt him smile.

“Of course, how many other badass girls do you know with an aim that good? Honestly, I thought—” I got cut off by a sharp pain shooting through my entire body. I collapsed, realising the source was another guard’s shock bat. 

“Place them under arrest,” Kane ordered as another guard shocked Bellamy, leaving him writhing on the ground in pain. 

“What the hell are you doing?” I spat, wincing as they tied my arms behind my back. “Piss off, I already have a shoulder injury.” 

“Miss Jones, we are taking you back to the Ark. We’re here to help, the sooner you see that, the better.” Kane nodded at the guard and he cut my wrists loose, instead zip-tying my arms in front of me. 

I scoffed, “Since when has the Ark ever helped anybody?” I could feel the knife up my sleeve and wondered if I could get it out discreetly to slice the ties between my wrists. “We were better off before you got here,” I spat. 

“You are not in control here anymore,” Kane said sternly. “And I’ll be needing that knife.” 

“What knife?” 

“The one in your boot.” 

“Oh,” I nodded. “ _My_ knife. Take it then.” Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Bellamy trying to bite back a small smile. I lifted up my hands, rubbing my nose but mostly covering my face so I could mouth the word to Bellamy without being noticed. _Several_ , I winked. 

They sat us down on the remnants of a charred log and left us there, while Finn spoke to Abby about Raven. I looked back over at Bellamy, whose face was covered in a mixture of blood and mud. “So you know where I’ve been, what about you?” I asked, moving a piece of hair out of my eyes.

“Ran from the blaze with Finn, got separated, he got captured by a Grounder, found Monroe and Sterling, tried to rescue Finn and got caught, then these guys showed up, we brought them here… and found out everyone was gone except for you, Raven and Murphy.” 

“Oh, so a regular Tuesday then?” I grinned.

Bellamy scoffed, “Pretty much. What happened to the others?” 

“I don’t know… they think it’s Grounders but I’m not sure. I didn’t see anything, I was passed out strapped to a tree for god knows how long. Came in and found Raven, then Murphy showed up. Tried to kill Murphy, decided not to…” I thought back to the bow that had been left on the second floor of the dropship, the one I’d given to Fox. “On an unrelated note, do you know how to shoot arrows?”

“No… I don’t?” 

I laughed, “Was that an answer or a question?”

“Both. Why would you need to—” 

Finn came back, cutting him off. “We’re leaving.”

“What?” I reeled back, “This is where they’ll come back.” 

He shook his head, “I don’t think they’re coming back. The Grounders took them, and you know that.” 

“How do you know it’s even Grounders?”

“Who else would it be? Look… we go with Kane to Alpha Station, we get reinforcements, weapons. Then we find our friends.” He leant in and whispered the rest of it, trying not to attract the attention of the guards.

“One question,” Bellamy leant in as well. “How many more of us will be dead by then?” 

Finn silenced, pausing to look back at Raven on the stretcher behind us. “Abby says Raven needs surgery or she’s gonna die. It’s time to go.” He got up and left, standing behind Raven as the guards lifted her stretcher up. 

I looked at Bellamy as the guards hauled us up, one for each of us, and began to march us out of the camp. I glanced back quickly, reading the message Abby had etched into the side of the dropship for Clarke. “Is this a good plan?” 

“I don’t know,” he replied truthfully. “But it’s the only one we’ve got.”


	2. Home? This Was Never Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're fierce, you're awesome, and you can survive anything-- including this."

“How long are they gonna keep us locked up in here?” Bellamy paced the room, hands curling and uncurling into fists repeatedly.

I looked up, “Here’s the _Chancellor_ now. Why don’t you ask him?” 

Kane walked in, handing his gun to a man outside before the doors shut behind him. Bellamy asked the question again, this time directly, and Kane pulled up a chair and sat down in it. “Until I’m confident you’re no longer a threat to others. Let’s continue. You said there were hundreds of Grounders attacking. Two? Three hundred?”

“Well, we didn’t exactly have time to count, _sir_.” I spat the sir part out to prove a point, ignoring the fact that the word left a foul taste on my lips. 

“Why do you think they attacked? What provoked them?” 

Bellamy sighed, “We were here. That was enough. We’re wasting _time_. The others didn’t just vanish into thin air, they were taken, and we need to go after them.”

“A search team is prepping to leave,” Kane held up his hand. “But not before we’ve gotten the intel we need from you.” 

Bellamy walked forwards, sitting down next to him. “I need to be on that team, please.” 

I nodded, “I’m coming too.”

He turned around to face me, “No way, you’re injured.”

“I’m not doing this with you right now, I’m coming,” I protested.

“You’re injured!”

“And a better shot than you!”

“Are we really doing this again?”

Kane cut in, silencing us both. “That’s out of the question. Neither of you are going, you’re not trained and it’s too dangerous.”

“Trained?” I scoffed, “You didn’t give us battle strategy tips before you sent us down here, did you? We weren’t trained for that. You sent us down here and it caused a damn war, we’re still alive— and we didn’t need any of your bullshit _training_ for that.” 

“Those are my people out there,” Bellamy looked at the ground.

“They’re my people, too.” Kane leant towards him, “You want to help them? Tell me what we’re up against. Grounder tactics, their numbers, what kind of weapons they used.” 

I muttered half under my breath, “They stopped being your people the day you sent them down here to die.”

“Arrows and spears,” replied Bellamy. “Axes, swords, their teeth.”

Kane asked curiously, “No guns?” Bellamy shook his head. “You had guns?”

“The guns we found at the aid depot levelled the playing field. And maybe, maybe if we’d had more bullets we could have—” Kane cut him off before he could continue. 

“There were more bullets.” 

I spun around, “What?”

“Search team just returned from the bunker, they found two more barrels full of rifles, and a third filled with bullets.”

“We should’ve looked harder…” I walked over and put a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder as he trailed off. Before any of us had a chance to say anything else, the door opened and two armed guards escorted Murphy in. Bellamy stood up, instantly on the offensive. “What’s he doing here?”

The female guard spoke up, “Excuse me, sir, Dr Griffin cleared Mr Murphy out of medical.” Kane stood up, moving the chair. 

“Put him over there, Major Byrne,” Kane replied, nodding to the other guards as they zip-tied Bellamy on one end of the room, and me on the other, leaving Murphy in the corner so that we were as far apart as possible. 

Murphy laughed, “Well this should be fun.” 

Gunshots rang out outside, and the guards disappeared towards the source in a hurry. The moment they were out the door I slipped the knife out from my jacket sleeve and set to work on the zip-ties. I was almost through but I paused to shudder at the god-awful scream coming from outside. _Raven_. I worked faster, almost through the material, my hands frantic.

“That was me at the Grounder camp,” Murphy laughed. “You know, I did everything I could not to scream but eventually…”

“But eventually you broke and you told them everything.” Bellamy finished. 

“And you wouldn’t have, because you’re better than me.” Murphy rolled his eyes.

Bellamy looked away, “Damn right. I’m not a traitor. I didn’t tell them where they could find us.”

“And I did. Yeah, I did. After they tortured me in their prison camp for three days, but go ahead. You just keep believing, even if you are in here just like me.” He looked out the hole in the side of the ship, where Raven’s screams and sobs were echoing through. 

I finally cut through the ties that they had used, flexing my wrists. I looked up at the hole in the ship, too small to fit through. There was nothing around to make it wider, but I didn’t need to. When I turned around, I realised that after the gunshots they hadn’t been expecting us to escape, and all the guards had gone and left the door _wide fucking open._ Brushing my clothes down, I wiped some of the dried blood from my forehead. My braid dangled down my back and I grabbed it, raking some of the dirt and blood out of it before eventually cutting off the bottom inch and moving the band further up. 

“I’ll be right back. And by 'right back' I mean I’m gonna go check on Raven, and they’ll probably come and drag my ass back here, so see you in less than ten minutes.” I slotted the knife back up my sleeve and pulled out a different one, sliding it across the floor to Bellamy. 

“What about me?” Murphy laughed, knowing that it wasn’t going to happen. 

I tilted my head to the side, almost considering it before pulling a face. “Nah, you seem comfy.” 

Easing my way down the corridor, I checked to make sure the coast was clear before walking normally towards the tent the sounds were coming from. The usual trick is: act as you belong there, and people usually believe you. The male screams coming from the forest distracted everyone, and I made a break for the med-tent, giving up on ‘blending in’. Almost all of The Guard rushed towards the noise and I basically had a free pass. 

I slipped in, kneeling down next to Finn. Abby raised her eyes at me but didn’t say anything. Probably for the best, the less she knew the better. Raven squeezed Finn’s hand and cried out in pain.

“Hey, look at me,” I whispered to her. “You’re Raven fucking Reyes, you’re the most badass person I’ve ever met, aside from myself, of course.” She managed to muster a small smile, and even though it disappeared as she screamed again, I knew it helped a little. “You came down to earth to help us, in a pod you’d almost completely rebuilt from scrap, and without you and your brilliant mind, we’d all be dead. You’re fierce, you’re awesome, and you can survive anything— including this.” I looked up as Kane brought someone else into medical, scratching the back of my neck sheepishly. “That’s my pep talk over. I may or may not have broken out of their mini jail to get in here, so I’m going to go out and get re-arrested so they don’t have to come in here. You got this.” 

I gave her a final thumbs-up before putting my hands in the air and walking out into the main area of the medical tent. “Hey Kane, do you know where they keep the wound cleaning shit? I kind of have a minor stab wound and I’d rather not pull anyone out of that room to tend to it.” 

He turned around slowly, only mildly surprised. “You’re a slippery one, aren’t you? And if you’d said something earlier, we could’ve treated it then.”

I shrugged, eyeing the man sitting in the corner and covering the stitches on his hand with a bandage. “Some might say that, and it didn’t really seem like the time. I’m not kidding about getting stabbed though. I also have a light shoulder injury from getting mauled by a large cat, so that bandage probably needs changing soon.”

I shrugged, eyeing the man sitting in the corner and covering the stitches on his hand with a bandage. “Some might say that. But seriously, I’m not kidding about the stab wound. I also have a light shoulder injury from getting mauled by a large cat, and I need a mirror so I can check on it.”

Kane sighed and gestured to a makeshift bed. I sat down and put my leg up, ripping the hole around the wound in my leg to make it wider. “It might have been a better idea for you to have kept the blade _in_ , then it would’ve slowed the bleeding?”

“Wasn’t deep enough for that, plus I was mid-battle so I sorta just pulled it out and jammed it in the neck of the guy who stabbed me with it in the first place,” I shrugged. “And it could’ve been poisoned— it’s not, though.” 

“The Grounders use poison?” Kane asked, intrigued, as he grabbed some gauze and supplies to clean it. “I’m no Abby Griffin, but I’ve seen enough to know how to clean a wound.” 

I nodded, “They coat a lot of their daggers in it, and most of their arrows. Not the swords though, too risky I think. Finn got stabbed by a poisoned dagger, but we managed to get an antidote in time. Chances are if the Grounder shoots with the poison, they’re also carrying the antidote somewhere.” 

“Good to know,” he poured some alcohol onto the gauze and began to clean the wound. I winced but didn’t say anything. “What else?”

“I think they also carry blood thickeners or something— coagulants? Oh, and they don’t poison the spears because usually, they hit their marks— _very_ good aim— and there’d be no point. Finn knows where there’s a river, where this red seaweed grows, and it helps wounds heal or something. That’s what they gave to Jasper before they used him as bait.”

When he’d finished cleaning the wound, I muttered a thanks before standing up ready to go. 

“What about your shoulder?” Kane asked, raising an eyebrow. 

I paused, thinking of all the precariously-placed knives that would fall out if I took off my jacket, and I knew that taking them out one by one beforehand would be a bad idea. “Eh, I’ll live,” I shrugged, before holding out my hands. “You ready to take me back to holding or what?”

He sighed, re-cuffing me and leading me back out of medical. We walked down the corridors in silence and he shut the door after he finished securing me and left the makeshift jail cell. I looked at Bellamy, spotting the knife he’d managed to half-conceal down his jacket sleeve when Kane walked in. 

“I can see that, by the way.” I nodded at his knife. “It’s too high up.”

“So Lyss, how many knives have you got there? Including Bellamy’s, what is that… Six? Fourteen? Twenty three? Fifty?” Murphy narrowed his eyes at me.

I laughed, “Something like that.”

“Those are wildly different numbers,” Bellamy laughed. “Which is closer to _‘several’_? He brought the knife back out and continued to cut away at the restraints. “We need to get out of here.”

As if by magic, Finn appeared, dropping a bag of weapons down by Bellamy’s feet just as he sliced through the restraints holding his hands in place. “Get up,” he whispered. “We’re going after them.” Monroe was close behind him and she kept watch as he helped him remove the rest of the restraints. I worked harder to cut through mine with a different knife.

“It’s about time,” Bellamy smirked as he stood up.

“Wait. Wait. What about me?” Murphy called over. Bellamy gave Finn a look but he shook his head, so Bellamy picked up a knife and walked over to him. I sliced through my restraints as Bellamy used the equipment Finn had brought to cut through the handcuffs attaching Murphy to the wall.

Finn shot me a look, “No way.” 

“He’s been to the Grounder prison camp,” I nodded at Bellamy’s train of thought.

“He’s right. Okay, I can take you there.” Murphy agreed as he was pulled to his feet.

Monroe came over, “Hey, Sterling just signalled. Someone’s coming.”

It was a false alarm, and since it was nightfall we could leave camp almost completely undetected. We had to be quiet, not drawing any attention to ourselves as we kept low enough to the ground to avoid being seen. Just as we were out of the figurative woods and into the literal woods, a flashlight shone into our faces and my hand instinctively went towards my nearest knife. 

Two figures came into view, one was a member of The Guard, the other was Abby Griffin. She looked at us impatiently, “You’re late.” 

Finn shrugged, throwing a glance at Murphy, who was being dragged along by Bellamy with his hands still bound. “Bellamy decided to bring company.” 

“He’s the only person that’s been in their camp.” He explained, waiting for Abby’s response. She nodded, before holding out a pistol. I grabbed it, tucking it down my waistband. The guard held out his rifle to Bellamy, who accepted it, before the guard spoke.

“Please find my son,” the guard asked. “His name is Nathan Miller.” 

“Bring them home,” Abby smiled and wished us good luck. 

Little did she know, for some of us the Ark would never really be home. 


	3. I Will Find Our Friends Even If It Kills Me (And It Might)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you trust me?"
> 
> "As long as it doesn't bite me in the ass, Blake. Then yeah, I trust you."

We walked through the forest, Murphy showing us where to go. Every now and then he’d stop, asking if we’d remove his cuffs, but every time— until now— we’d denied. Finn moved forwards without speaking, slicing through what bound his hands together, and then continuing at the front of the line. 

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” Bellamy caught up to him, clearly not happy with what had just happened. 

Finn’s expression didn’t change as he replied, “You’re the one that wanted to bring him.” 

“Yeah, because he’s the only one who’s actually seen where the Grounders keep their prisoners,” I answered.

“Then we shouldn’t let him be defenceless out here. Besides, we can handle Murphy.” He continued to walk on ahead. 

Bellamy looked at Murphy, before looking forward at Finn and muttering, “Better hope so.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him,” I walked past and ruffled Murphy’s hair and he swatted me away with mild annoyance. He opened his mouth to say something before ultimately deciding to shut it again.

It wasn’t long before we were at the entrance, and before any of us had a chance to walk into any traps, Murphy grabbed Bellamy and yanked him to the ground. “Get down. Down! This is it. Told you I’d find it.”

Bellamy raised the rifle, looking down the scope. “I see nothing but Grounders. Our people aren’t here.” 

“Wait a minute,” Finn raised Sterling’s rifle, taking it off him. “They have stuff from our dropship.” 

My ears perked up, “Maybe they know where our friends are?” 

“Son of a bitch!” Cursed Finn, adjusting his position to get a better look.

“What is it?”

Finn glared down the rifle, “The guy with one eye. Around his neck. He’s got Clarke’s watch. It was her father’s.”

Bellamy looked over to him, “Well she wouldn’t give that up without a fight.”

“Neither will we,” Finn growled.

Bellamy tried to create a plan. “Finn and Alyssa swap guns. Finn, you’re with me. Alyssa, up. You two stay here out of sight, this thing goes south, take out the other Grounders. But don’t shoot the Grounder with the watch. Copy?”

“Copy. What about Murphy?” I narrowed my eyes at him and he winked back at me. 

“Yeah, do I get a gun now?” He asked, a playful grin on his face.

I rolled my eyes, “Something like that,” before pushing him after Bellamy and Finn. I kept low to the ground, trying to keep an eye on the Grounders as I managed to find a decent tree to climb, praying that there wasn’t a scout already up there. Luckily enough, there wasn’t and I had a pretty damn good view of the whole camp. Definitely none of our guys in there. 

Murphy sat at the foot of another tree, tapping two rocks together to attract the Grounder’s attention, disappearing into the undergrowth as he arrived. Bellamy sneaked up on him, knocking him out and Finn helped him carry them out the way. Bellamy looked at me and I pointed at myself, specifically my eyes, held up two fingers and then pointed at the camp, specifically my eyes, and then he nodded. _I’ll keep watch for two minutes, you get the information_. 

Reluctantly but necessarily, he agreed to take the Grounder away, and the others followed him. Finn led the way, having somewhere in mind to go and once I made sure they weren’t being followed I climbed down. As soon as I made sure no one was following _me_ either, I raced through the forest until I caught up to them slightly further in. There was a bunker, and I followed them down the hatch. They had already strapped the Grounder to a chair, binding his wrists and feet. 

“Where did you find this?” Finn held out the watch, shaking it in front of the Grounder’s face. 

“Outside your camp,” the man replied.

“No, she wouldn’t have given it up without a fight, so how did you really get it?” Bellamy snapped.

“Outside. Your. Camp.” 

“He’s lying,” whispered Finn, his hand closing around the watch. 

Bellamy stepped forwards, “We’re gonna do this again, and this time you’re gonna stop screwing with us. Where did you find this?”

“I told you, I found it outside your camp.” 

“No! She would never take it off voluntarily!” shouted Finn. I moved towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder protectively. 

“I know. We _will_ find her. And the rest of them.” 

He shrugged me off, pushing me out of the way as his voice got louder and his eyes darkened. Finn practically shook with anger as he shouted again. “Where is the girl who was wearing this watch?” 

“I never saw a girl,” the man replied, as calm as ever.

Murphy rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Another lie. I mean, maybe you should stop asking him nicely.” 

“Shut up, Murphy.” Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, trying to come up with a plan. “Where are our friends? You took them, we know you did so just tell us where.” 

“Murphy’s right,” Finn pulled his gun out and hit the Grounder with it, “We’re wasting time. Answer the question! WHERE IS THE GIRL WHO WAS WEARING THIS WATCH?”

Bellamy pulled him off the man, pushing him back to get him to cool off. “Hey! Finn, stop! You don’t want to do this, trust me. There are some lines you can’t uncross.” 

I watched the exchange take place from a seat behind the Grounder, I saw Finn turn back and look at the man he had taken hostage. There was a flicker of something in his eye, and I couldn’t quite tell what it was but I knew he wasn’t acting like himself. Finn wouldn’t do this. This isn’t the Finn that sat by Raven’s side throughout her procedure. This isn’t the Finn that tried his best as he sheltered Charlotte from Murphy. This isn’t the Spacewalker we arrived on earth with. 

This Finn was hurting. And he wasn’t prepared to take no for an answer. His face hardened and his temper skyrocketed as he walked back past Bellamy and began to hit the man again. “WHERE IS SHE?” I stepped forwards, grabbing his jacket and pushing him against the wall. 

“Finn, stop!”

“Back off!” He pushed me off of him and I backed into a table. The sudden movement jump-started the pain in my leg but I didn’t show it. Finn raised the gun, holding it against my head. I held my ground, refusing to back down. His hand shook and I could feel the barrel of the gun as it touched and left my forehead, his hand too unsteady to keep it in one place. 

“Finn,” I tried to calm him down. “Listen to me. Put down the gun, and get some air.” He stared at me, hatred seemingly coursing through every fibre of his being. “Finn. If you do this there’s no going back. If Clarke walked in right now, she wouldn’t recognise you. You have got to calm down.” 

“Calm down? Do you even want to find Clarke?” He cocked the gun, taking it away from my forehead and pressing it against the side of the Grounder’s head instead. “Three seconds. Two! One.” 

The Grounder cracked, “Okay! I’ll tell you. Your friends are east of here. The village where we take our prisoners of war.” 

“East _where_? How do we get to them?” Finn kept the gun trained against the man’s head. 

“I can draw you a map, but you should hurry. Soon they’ll outlive their usefulness.” 

Finn turned to me, and the glare I gave him was enough to make him look at Bellamy instead. “Get him something to draw with.”

Murphy walked over, leaning against the wall next to me. “And you thought I was the crazy one.” 

“He’s in pain,” I replied. But it was true, that didn’t make it any better. 

He scoffed, “So are you. But at least you only kill people when you have to.” 

Ignoring Murphy, I spoke up. “How do we know he’s telling the truth? Finn had a gun against his head, he could just be trying to save his own sorry ass. We can’t trust him! It could be a trap.” 

Bellamy shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he walked towards the door. “I’ll be back in a minute. I need some air.” 

I looked around before agreeing. “This shitshow’s wack, even for me. I’m out.” 

“You’re out? Don’t you care what happens to the others?” Finn snapped, and I could’ve sworn if he didn’t have his sights set on the Grounder, the gun would be against my head again. 

“I’m _out_ as in I’m going outside. You need a minute, I need a minute. Bellamy needs a minute. We all just need to take a fucking minute, before we turn into the people we’ve been trying to save our friends from this whole damn time! It’s ridiculous, fucking ridiculous.” I threw my hands in the air, trying to find a way to express my point that wasn’t just a string of various curse words until I ran out of breath. “When I come back, that Grounder better not be dead. Murphy either, for that matter.” 

Murphy pulled a face, “I didn’t say anything!” 

“Don’t goad him. I know it’s your speciality, just… just don’t.” I groaned, half-wishing I’d been taken with the others at this point. At least then I’d know where they were. I climbed up the ladder, trying to breathe in as much fresh air as possible when I was outside. “Fuck!” I cursed, slamming the hatch shut behind me. I let out what seemed to be a half-groan, half-screaming noise in frustration as I pulled out a knife without thinking and tossed it into the nearest tree. The satisfying thud as it landed made me feel better, but only slightly. 

“Easy there,” I heard Bellamy as he pulled the knife out of the tree that he had unfortunately been leaning against at the time I threw it. I bit my lip, feeling guilty. “Same side, remember?” He passed it back to me, and I stuck it back up my sleeve before closing my eyes and putting my hands on my head as I slowly sank down the side of the tree I was next to.

I groaned again, “This is just so shit. Maybe if I’d woken up sooner I’d have seen what happened.”

“And you’d probably have used a half-thought out plan to rescue them, and potentially have gotten yourself captured or killed in the process.” He gave me a Knowing Look™ and I sighed. 

“We don’t even know if this Grounder is telling the truth. Finn’s taking his word as gospel because he’s grasping at straws, desperate to find Clarke. We can’t keep making allowances for him. Not knowing if she’s alive or not is driving him crazy, but just because she isn’t here to set his head on straight doesn’t mean he gets to go around waving that gun.” I groaned.

Bellamy walked over and sat down next to me, leaning his head against the tree. “Knowing that she’s out there possibly as a prisoner is messing him up. But we can’t blame him, everyone’s torn up over it.”

“Not everyone is willing to kill innocent people over it, Bellamy.” 

“Should I remind you that you almost stabbed me a few minutes ago?” 

I laughed, “Not on purpose though. We can’t bring Finn any further, he’s a liability. I don’t care if he’s a damn good tracker or not.”

“He held a gun to your head,” he whispered.

“He wouldn’t have shot it, but he still did it. Look, I know he’s hurting. I get it, I do… but— and don’t _ever_ tell anyone I’ve said this— Murphy’s right. It’s not just him that’s hurting, but you don’t see the rest of us running around attempting murder on innocent people to make ourselves feel better.” 

~

After a little while longer of trying to get our thoughts together, we went back inside and packed up the gear to leave. The Grounder looked considerably worse for wear than before but I didn’t say anything, instead shooting a look at Murphy who shook his head warningly. 

“What about him?” Sterling pointed at the Grounder, “What do we do with him?”

Bellamy looked back, making up his mind. “For now, we leave him. Deal with him when we’re done.” 

“And what if he escapes?” Murphy whispered, “He knows exactly where we’re going.” 

I put my hand up between the rest of the group and the Grounder hostage. “We’re _not_ killing him.” 

“I’m not really seeing another option here, if we don’t take care of it now, this is gonna blow back on us and you know that,” Murphy explained, and it was annoying that he was right again. 

“He’s unarmed, Murphy,” argued Bellamy.

“He’s a Grounder,” Murphy shot back. “Really? Come on, tell him.” He looked to Monroe and Sterling. “He’s gonna tell his people everything. We’re as good as dead. Our friends, too.” 

Bellamy shook his head, his voice final. “We’re not doing this. End of discussion. You want him, you gotta go through me.” 

“And what exactly happened to you, huh? You’re talking like you’ve never killed a Grounder before.” 

“That was in battle. This would be an execution,” I cut in. “It’s not—” The gunshot stopped me in my tracks. I turned around, Finn was standing over the body of the dead Grounder, the bullet’s entry and exit wounds on either side of the man’s head. Everyone stared, taken by surprise. 

“Let’s get moving,” Finn pushed past as he grabbed his pack and climbed the ladder. 

“ _Liability_ ,” I hissed to Bellamy. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” 

He grabbed my arm before we left the bunker, catching me and keeping me behind. “You don’t have to trust him, you just have to trust me. Do you trust me?” 

My eyes couldn’t help but give one more look to the dead Grounder, the blood from his head pooling along the floor. I nodded, “As long as it doesn’t bite me in the ass, Blake. Then yeah, I trust you.”


	4. This Isn't What We Planned, But It's Happening Anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well I'd say he's heard one too many of your motivational speeches." 
> 
> "Shut up, Murphy."

“Everyone, eyes peeled. We’re in Grounder territory,” Bellamy ran on ahead, keeping low as he scouted the area.

Murphy laughed, rolling his eyes. “ _Everything_ is Grounder territory. I can’t keep running, alright? We don’t even know if the guy Finn killed was telling us the truth.” 

Finn pushed past and grabbed Murphy, pulling him along. “Keep moving.” 

“Hey,” I separated them, “We can give him a minute.”

“No, we can’t.” Finn narrowed his eyes at me. “We all heard what that Grounder said, they’ll outlive their usefulness. Do you not want to get there before that happens?” He shot me a glare and I sent him one right back, too on edge for any bullshit today.

Bellamy tried to remain calm as he said, “I heard what he said when you had a gun to his head.”

“Look, you think I wanted to do that?” Finn asked, incredulous. “He would’ve told his people we were coming, and by the time that we got there, _our_ people would be dead. Maybe that’s something you can live with, but I can’t!” He pushed Bellamy but he held his ground, trying to calm Finn down. 

“Hey, you did what you think you had to do, but you are not yourself right now. And I can’t be out here with another loose cannon.” Bellamy nodded at Murphy, who scoffed. At this point, I was beginning to think Finn might be the _only_ loose cannon on this rescue team. 

Monroe stepped in, gesturing with her gun. “Guys.” My eyes followed where she was pointing and widened as I realised what it was. I could hear the flies, but I just thought they were there, I hadn’t realised that they were all swarming around the numerous dead bodies littering the sides of the path.

“Fall in,” Bellamy snapped, making his way forwards slowly. 

I looked at the scene, surprised to realise that they didn’t look like Grounders at all. They looked like they were… like they were from the Ark. “Where the hell did they come from?” I hissed, edging my way to the front as we followed the trail of bodies out towards an opening of rocks, littered with pieces of metal and scrap. 

“It’s a rough landing,” Murphy said as we all looked over the cliff’s edge, the remnants of what should’ve been one of the Ark stations coming into full view. 

Bellamy shook his head, “There’s nothing we can do for these people. We gotta go.” But as he turned to leave we all picked up on a sound, a whimpering sound, and it was coming from over the cliff edge. 

“Did you hear that?” Murphy looked over, getting as close as possible to the edge as he looked down. “Someone’s down there, and they’re alive.” 

“Hey!” Bellamy called out, “Up here!” 

“Please help me,” the woman called out, and Sterling’s face filled with recognition. 

He leant forwards, desperate to see her face more clearly but I held out an arm to stop him from getting any closer to the edge. “Mel?” Sterling called down, worry layering his voice. 

“Help me!” Mel called back, dangling as she held on for dear life. 

“She’s my friend, we have to do something.” Sterling began to rifle through his pack, pulling out a long rope.

Finn moved away and I watched as Bellamy caught him, their heated argument hard to decipher through the low voices they were using. By the time they had reached a decision, Sterling was already about to lower himself over the edge. Guess we’re taking that break after all. I looked over at Finn and he was pacing already, he wasn’t thinking about Mel, he was thinking about Clarke and I could tell. 

Sterling slowly lowered himself down the side of the cliff, taking easy steps and holding onto the rope as he got closer and closer to his friend. “Once I have her, pull us up!” He called, almost there.

“Well I’d say he’s heard one too many of your motivational speeches.”

“Shut up, Murphy,” Bellamy shot back. 

We all stood next to the edge, ready to pull him up but also watching in fear of what could happen beforehand. Sterling was almost there, and he held out his hand to Mel who grabbed it. The rope slipped and he steadied himself before grabbing her hand. I looked back at the rope just as it slipped from its knot around the tree stump. Does no one know how to tie a decent knot around here? I reached for it, but there was nothing to give me purchase on as he slid further down the cliff. My feet scrambled but the rope pulled me closer to the edge, burning my fingers as it finally slipped through them and Sterling fell. I cried out, rushing to the edge of the cliff and watching as he fell. 

It was just like Charlotte, and I relived the memory almost simultaneously as watching the scene play out before me, her body disappearing into the fog. Except this time, there was no fog and I watched as Sterling’s body hit the bottom with a jerk before staying still. I panted, leaning over and cursing. If I had just been a little bit stronger. If there had been something on the rock to keep me steady. I could have… I could have…

Mel shouted out, screaming in horror as she clutched the branch with everything she had. Murphy held onto Monroe as she stared at the place on the cliff where Sterling had been, looking back at me as I lay on the ground in defeat. Bellamy sprung to action, getting as close to the edge as possible as he tried to calm her down. “Mel! Mel, hold on. Focus on me. You can do this. Yes, you can. You’re strong.” 

“I’m not strong!” She whimpered, “Stubborn, maybe.” 

“So be stubborn a little longer. I’m not gonna let you die, you hear me?” He moved away from the edge, looking around the area for something we could use.

Finn caught him, “We’re out of rope.” 

“So we make a new one,” Bellamy answered.

“This wasn’t part of the plan. If anything happens to our friends, when we could—” 

“We don’t know that we can save our friends! For all we know, they may be dead already.” He pushed further, even though it struck a chord with Finn. “We’ve all thought it. But what we do know is we could save this one girl.”

“Sterling was one of us,” Monroe nodded. “She was his friend. I’m in.” 

Somehow it didn’t even surprise me when Murphy agreed, peering one last time over the ledge before looking around for options. “How do we do it?” 

“We make new rope from the wreckage. Go find wires, seatbelts, anything.” Bellamy said with determination. “And then I’m going down to get her.”

I looked over and saw the crease between his eyebrows as he thought the plan over. It was easy to tell that he was only partially sure of what he was about to do. If Finn was right, this is time we’re wasting, but the rest of us were willing to take that chance. Our friends could be anywhere, and by the time we get there, they might even have moved them. Mel was here, and she needed our help _now_. So we were going to help her. 

Murphy managed to find a few seatbelts and Monroe some wire. We clipped the seatbelts together and tied the makeshift rope around a large rock. Bellamy wrapped one end around his waist and his leg as a harness and prepared to lower himself down. I gave him one last look, “Be careful. Don’t die.” 

“Wow, with a pep talk like that, you could rival one of his patented motivational speeches,” Murphy muttered sarcastically, swatting me away as I elbowed him in the ribs. We began to lower him down, and I winced as my hands bled, the friction burn from Sterling’s rope reopened by the seatbelt I was clinging onto. “Alright, ease it out slowly.” 

I watched him disappear down the side of the cliff as we lowered him down further. Bellamy made his way down, struggling to catch his footing as we slowly walked closer to the edge to ease the rope further. He put a hand around Mel’s waist and tried to persuade her to grab hold of him. Her added weight on the rope pulled it tight, but we began to pull him up. 

“Don’t you worry, Bellamy. I’m not gonna let you drop.”

Finn rolled his eyes, “Just pull, Murphy!”

Bellamy started the climb, holding onto the rope with one hand and Mel with the other, his arm wrapped around her body securely as she held her own arms around his neck and buried her face in his jacket. We pulled on the rope, the four of us desperately trying to bring him back up, but not so quick that one of the seatbelts would catch and unfasten. I suddenly realised what a long way down it was to the bottom, my hands unconsciously gripping the rope tighter, the edges of it digging into the cuts on my palms. 

I… I don’t know what happened. _Shit_. Someone slipped… _something_ slipped… and two of the seatbelts unfastened, leaving Murphy the only link between them. Bellamy and Mel dropped a few feet and we all grasped the rope, trying to pull them up without falling in ourselves. 

“What the hell is happening up there?” Bellamy’s voice called out from below, laced with uncertainty.

Before I could reply, an arrow thudded into the ground next to my leg, followed by six more. “GROUNDERS!” Monroe shouted, and Finn passed her the gun to cover us, leaving just him, Murphy and myself the only people standing in the way of Bellamy and Mel falling to their deaths. I gripped the rope harder with one hand, using the other to pick up the gun Monroe dropped as an arrow thudded into her thigh. I pointed it without looking, firing off random shots to keep them at bay. Something moved in the trees and I pulled out a knife from my boot. The blood on my hands caused it to slip, and what should’ve been a kill shot was slightly too far to the left to work. _Shit_.

A spear was launched towards us and Finn rolled out of the way as it thudded into the ground behind Murphy, once again leaving him the only one holding onto the rope. I tossed the gun and grabbed the rope again, grunting as pain seared through my hands. The only thing keeping me going was the thought of what would happen if I let go.

An all-too-familiar foghorn rang out, and I realised it was the signal for the acid fog. _No. No. No!_ I pulled harder on the rope as Monroe came back, and we tried to get them closer to the top. I reached down and grabbed Mel’s wrist, pulling her up so the others could grab Bellamy. She landed on top of me as I collapsed backwards out of exhaustion. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, “Thank you.” 

I looked over, Murphy’s hands were red raw as he unravelled the seatbelts he’d been forced to wrap around them to keep the others alive. “We have to take cover from the fog—” I moved to put my hands down on the ground to push myself upright but the moment the dust and stones made contact with my palms I cut myself short, biting back the cry that was trying it’s best to escape through my lips. 

“Bellamy.” I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was, recognising Octavia’s voice instantly. Leaning back, I looked anyway and spotted the foghorn in her hand. No fog, that was good.

“No we don’t,” Bellamy replied to me, stumbling to his feet breathlessly and uttering his sister’s name as she pulled him into a tight hug. The reunion was sweet but the pain in my hands was unbearable, and as I was forced to wipe my forehead I realised too late that I had just smeared blood across it. 

Murphy breathed a sigh of relief, “So she blew the horn,” rubbing his own hands and wincing.

“Yup,” I replied, using my elbows and knees to push myself to my feet. Once I was up, I held out a hand, he reached up to take it and I put it a little further down so we weren’t touching hands directly. He grabbed my wrist and I grabbed his, both of us leaving bloody handprints on the other's sleeve as I pulled him upright. Slowly, I looked around the area, taking in the scene. Octavia was tending to the arrow sticking out of Monroe’s leg, Bellamy was fashioning Mel a sling, and Finn was looking at the map. Murphy stood next to me, watching them. 

Bellamy walked over to Finn, studying his map. “Octavia said the arrow might be poisoned, I’ve got to take them back to the Ark.”

“I know,” Finn muttered, handing him a separate map. 

“We’ll meet you as soon as we can,” I watched as Bellamy folded the map away and pocketed it. 

“I know,” replied Finn again as he finished closing his pack and began to set off at a jog. 

Murphy started to follow, turning around only to laugh and ask, “Parting, such sweet sorrow. Right?”

Bellamy raised an eyebrow, “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” 

“Come on, Bellamy. You know if I go with you, they’ll just lock me up again.” Murphy answered, his eyebrows raising in surprise as Bellamy tossed him a gun. 

Octavia disagreed, I could see it in her face, but she said nothing on it. 

“Watch his back,” Bellamy nodded at him, and Murphy turned slowly before running to catch up with Finn. For once, I was surprised to realise that out of those two, Murphy might be the only sane one for now. Octavia and Bellamy moved to help Monroe to her feet, and I walked with Mel. I tore off a piece of fabric and wrapped my hands with it, allowing me to just about hold the gun properly. Five minutes later, we started to move out.


	5. Mountain Men, Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, you're an asshole and yes, you're also a murderer." 
> 
> "Gee, thanks." 
> 
> "...But so am I."

The gate buzzed as they opened it, and I clocked the electric fence which most definitely had _not_ been there last time around. A guard instantly took Bellamy’s rifle as he came through, and I tossed another guard my pistol before he had a chance to ask. My other arm was under Monroe, who was also being supported by Octavia as Bellamy led Mel through the gate. Abby appeared, her hand brushing away part of Mel’s fringe to take a look at the cut on her forehead. “I know you, Factory Station. Right? Where are the others?”

“There are no others,” Mel whispered.

“We found her a day from here, no survivors but lots of supplies,” Bellamy replied as someone came and took Mel off him, and Abby put Monroe’s arm over her shoulders to lead her to medical personally. 

A blonde streak appeared out of nowhere and crashed into Bellamy. Clarke sighed in relief as she wrapped her arms around him and he returned the hug in surprise. She released him, before hugging Octavia and then me. 

Octavia laughed as she watched her brother and Clarke, “Now there’s something I never thought I’d see.” She waited until she had her arms firmly wrapped around Clarke before whispering, “I’m glad you’re okay.” 

“You too,” Clarke replied. 

“How many are with you?” I asked, smiling at Raven as she made her way over. I spotted the brace on her leg and smiled, she was walking without crutches and she seemed to be handling it okay. 

Clarke paused. “None.” She looked around, her forehead creasing in worry. “Where’s Finn?” 

Raven’s smile fell and so did Clarke as Bellamy was forced to answer. “Looking for you.” 

A strand of hair fell in front of my face and when I reached up to brush it out of the way I realised my hands were bleeding through my makeshift bandages. Bellamy gave me a concerned look but I smiled reassuringly and left to go to medical. When I got there, Abby was looking at Monroe’s leg and Jackson was looking at Mel’s arm, so I sat down on a free bed and began to unwrap the bandages. The wounds looked just about as painful as they were, and I shifted uncomfortably. There were small pieces of stone in the cuts, and the continued use of the second rope had made the affected area wider and more sensitive. It wasn’t long before Jackson came over to have a look at them and I knew it wasn’t good the moment he winced sympathetically upon noticing them. 

“I’m not going to lie to you, this isn’t going to be fun.” He whistled, picking up a pair of tweezers to begin to get the pieces out. “I have no idea how you managed to not cut any tendons, so it’s a lucky escape, but there’s a lot of nerve endings in the hand so this will hurt. A lot.” 

I tried to mentally prepare myself, “Just don’t warn me, start with my right hand— I need it more.” 

“Need it more? You aren’t going to be using these once they’re bound up for at least a few days.” He shook his head, grabbing some gauze.

“Thanks, doc. But you haven’t met me. Less than a week ago I got stabbed, took the knife out, and used it to stab the man who put it in my leg in the first place. So with all due respect, chances are I’m not going to follow any of the advice you give me.” I explained, managing to muster a weak laugh. 

He looked me up and down and took a mental note of all my various current injuries. “I’ll keep that in mi—” 

“ _FUCK!_ ” I cut him off as pain shot through my hand. I reeled back, but he grabbed my hand and clamped it in place on the table with his forearm, steadying it to take out the next piece. 

“There’s gravel in here, if you don’t stay still the small pieces will break apart and I’ll have to flush them out. If you don’t move, I can take the pieces out while they’re still large enough for that to be possible. There’s about six more—” 

“ _SHIT!_ ” For the second time, I noticed how he had been talking as a distraction. Unfortunately, the pain was slightly more powerful than I anticipated. I slammed the back of my other hand down on the bed, wincing in pain at the movement. My usual reaction to pain is just to clench and unclench my fist. If there’s half a dozen pieces of debris in my palm then that isn’t the best plan. 

I spotted movement out of the corner of my eye. _Raven_. She walked in stiffly and sat down on a chair next to the bed. “Heard you from outside,” she explained. “Actually, I think the whole damn planet heard you.” I laughed in agreement. 

“Can you distract her?” Jackson asked Raven, who nodded. She stood back up and walked around to face me. She stood in front of me, blocking Jackson from my view. 

“Close your eyes, I’m gonna hug you, deep breaths and try not to throw anything, alright?” She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tightly. “I’ll fill you in on what happened.”

“What happened?” I winced as Jackson pulled out another piece, but I didn’t scream in case there was any chance I might accidentally burst one of Raven’s eardrums. 

“So the Grounders don’t have our friends. The _Mountain Men_ do. In Mount Weather.”

I raised an eyebrow, forgetting that Raven wouldn’t be able to see. “What the fuck is a ‘mountain man’?”

“According to Clarke, they’re just like us except they can’t live outside because their bodies aren’t used to the radiation. They’re also bad because they’re taking Grounders and using their blood for treatments to keep themselves alive. Our friends are fine for now, but they’re basically prisoners and don’t know it yet.” 

“ _Shit_ ,” I cursed. That wasn’t good.

“Is that in response to the news or the pain?” 

“Both,” I gasped through the pain. 

Raven continued, “They’re in a meeting now discussing on how to respond. What’s gonna happen with Mount Weather, finding Kane, and Finn and Murphy. Stuff like that.” 

I felt material close around my right hand and opened my eyes to see Jackson smiling, “One down, one more to go. Don’t worry— there’s less in this one.” 

“So, after this—”

I cut raven off, screaming “ _FUCK!_ ” as the first piece was removed. She winced from the volume and I groaned guiltily. “Shit, sorry.” 

~

Once my hands were bandaged up and I was ready to go, Bellamy caught my eye as I left medical with Raven. We walked over to him and Clarke, and before we even got there I could tell they were about to be the bearers of bad news. 

“What happened?” I whispered, keeping my voice low.

“It’s Finn and Murphy. They don’t have the manpower to go after them, so they’re cutting them loose.” Clarke hissed as she glanced around, trying to make sure no one was listening.

I reeled back in shock, “What? They can’t—” 

“We’re going after them, don’t worry.” Bellamy interrupted, raising a hand to reassure me. “But we need firepower, think you can handle that Raven?” 

She smirked, “Of course. Meet me back here in fifteen minutes, I’ll have what you need and more.” 

“My mom’s in surgery, so we’ve got a bit of time. Raven, please hurry.” Clarke shifted nervously. Raven nodded and disappeared around the corner. 

“And in the meantime? How are we going to get through the electric fence?” I asked. The fence didn’t seem to look very forgiving.

“We pretend everything’s normal,” Bellamy replied. 

~

When Raven returned, she dropped a bag down next to us and unzipped it. It was full of weapons. “I scored you a couple extra clips,” she smiled. I nodded in approval and turned around as Clarke arrived. 

“My mom’s still in surgery and the team going after Kane just left. We should too.” 

Bellamy looked around, “Did you find Octavia?”

“No, I found you.” Octavia jogged around the corner, “I’m not letting you leave here without me.” Bellamy opened his mouth but Octavia cut him off, continuing with her explanation. “Finn and Murphy are going to Lincoln’s village. I’ve been there. Have you? Has she?” 

He tried not to smile, “You done?” Bellamy handed his sister a bag. 

“What’s this?”

“Your pack,” he laughed. “Lead the way.” 

Octavia moved towards the fence but Raven blocked her way. “Not so fast, Pocahontas.” She poked the fence with a stick and the electricity crackled, causing us to step back.

“I thought you said it was handled?” Clarke hissed.

“It is.” Raven pulled a radio out of her jacket. “Shut her down, Wick.” She received two beeps in response and touched the fence again. This time, there were no sparks. “See? Handled.” 

Octavia slid through first and Clarke followed, I gave Raven one last hug before ducking through the fence and following the others into the woods as night began to fall. 

We walked for a while, but soon it became too dark to navigate, and we couldn’t use the stars thanks to the tree cover so we were forced to stop and build a campfire. Octavia dozed off quickly and I noticed Bellamy watching over her as she slept, the flickering fire our only lighting. I lay down on the ground, my pack under my head. Honestly? The tree was comfier, but the ones in this part of the forest had too many branches for it to be anything similar to that experience. 

Clarke lay on the floor on the other side of Bellamy, watching the fire. In the light of the flames, I could fully see the scratches on her face and I briefly wondered what had caused them. Then again, I supposed I didn't look any better considering there was still a lot of blood on my jacket from the fight against the Grounders, and I wasn’t even sure how much of it was mine. 

Bellamy looked at Clarke, “Last time I saw you, you were closing the dropship door. Had to be done.” He smiled at her as she sat upright. 

“Did you get any sleep?” She asked, her eyes tainted with concern.

“It’s okay. I’ll sleep when we find Finn,” he replied, causing me to roll my eyes. Where had I heard that before? Oh yeah, _myself_. “You haven’t seen him, Clarke. Losing you, the others, the war, it changed him. He executed the Grounder that drew us the map. Pulled the trigger without even blinking and walked away. And that was _after_ he held the same gun to Alyssa's head.” 

She shook her head, “That doesn’t sound like Finn…” 

“No, it doesn’t,” replied Bellamy gravely. “I saw what he was capable of. And still I let him go with Murphy and two automatic rifles.” 

“I’m sure that had to be done, too,” Clarke reassured him. 

“When we got back to the dropship and no one was there, we assumed it was the Grounders,” I sighed. 

“Of course you did, there’s no way you could have known it was the mountain men,” she shook her head. “No one could have.” 

Bellamy’s face hardened, “How long until chocolate cake turns into being hung upside down and drained for their blood?”

Okay. Backtrack a little, _that’s_ what Raven meant when she said they were using their blood? _Shit._ Clarke looked over and I realised I’d let out an audible gasp. She sighed, “I don’t know. But we don’t have much time.”

“Okay, first we find Finn, then our people in Mount Weather,” Bellamy confirmed. That was our plan now, and we were going to stick with it no matter what. Clarke nodded and so did I.

“And Lincoln,” Octavia whispered, and we looked over and realised she was awake. She sat up, packing her things away. “I think we’ve slept long enough.” She nodded at us and we began to pack our things away too. 

I grabbed my pack, slinging it across my shoulder and grabbing my gun. “You sure you’re not tired?” I whispered to Bellamy as we began to move. 

“I’m not sleeping until we find Finn,” he said again. This time more determined. 

I rolled my eyes, nudging him. “You know where I’ve heard that before? Me. Until a good friend of mine told me, believe it or not, that sleep is good and that I should try it sometime.” It was his turn to roll his eyes at me. “It’s true. Right now, I’m at 100%. Your advice worked, and I now get an appropriate amount of sleep, give or take. Up until just before the fight at our camp, I was running on four hours or less. When I’m fully rested, I get shit _done._ ”

“I don’t doubt it,” he laughed, shaking his head.

“Full capacity, Blake. You should try it sometime.” I whispered knowingly. “It works wonders.” 

~

We had been walking for hours until we reached the statue. Octavia told us that was the entrance to the village, before she stopped walking, her eyes brimming with tears. “The Reapers came from there,” she whispered before turning to her brother who hugged her as tears fell down her cheeks. “I couldn’t save him, Bell. I couldn’t save him.” 

He comforted her and held her for a moment before she was finally able to lead us down the path to the village. It weaved through the woods and was hard to follow, but Octavia knew where she was going and thanks to her, so did we. Careful to not alert the Grounders, we walked lightly and tried not to draw any attention to ourselves. That is, until we heard the gunshots. We picked up the pace, running full pelt through the woods as more and more gunshots echoed from the village. 

I could hear screams and bullets and more screams and _more bullets_ and Finn turned with the gun to face us as we ran through into the village. He dropped the gun as soon as he saw Clarke, but that could in no way repair the damage he had caused. There were bodies everywhere, and by the looks of it… _innocent ones._ Octavia rushed in and dropped down to her knees next to a young boy with six bullets in his chest. I looked up and tried to gauge what had happened from Finn’s face, but he only had eyes for Clarke. 

I tried Murphy, walking over to him and grabbing him by the shoulder as Finn walked towards Clarke. “What the hell just happened here?” I asked, before shoving him. “Why didn’t you stop him?”

“I tried to get him to leave, he refused. The others aren’t here, only their clothes. He snapped when they wouldn’t tell him anything. He opened fire on anyone who moved.” Murphy ran a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t stop him.”

“This… this was a _massacre._ ” My hands shook as I clenched my fists, and I knew if I did that any harder there was a possibility the wounds in my hands would reopen. Despite knowing that, I stormed over to Finn and turned him away from a horrified Clarke to face me. “What the fuck were you thinking? This isn’t the Ark,” I spat. “Down here we don’t float people for the smallest inconvenience! You can’t just murder people in cold blood, Finn.” 

“Isn’t that what you did?” He glared at me, “That’s why you were in the Skybox, isn’t it? First-degree murder? You killed an innocent man in cold blood. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard.” 

I faltered, trying to shake the memory out of my head. Murphy took a small but noticeable step forwards between me and Finn and put his arm out, but he couldn’t get in the way of me as I glared at Finn. “What I did on the Ark has nothing to do with you slaughtering a village full of innocent people. And for your information, the man I killed wasn’t innocent.” 

“That’s enough,” Bellamy warned, trying to put out the fire that was about to be set alight any moment between me and Finn.

“Go float yourself, Finn Collins.” My hand cracked across his face, almost hurting me as much as it hurt him, before I stalked off into the woods. I walked far enough away to not be able to hear the screams of the remaining villagers, whether they were mourning loved ones or living out their final moments. A twig cracked behind me and I refused to turn around, knowingly running the risk that it could be a Grounder and simply not even caring. No, too heavy-footed to be a Grounder. “I don’t want a damn apology,” I called out, still not bothering to turn around. 

“Then you’ll be pleased to know I’m not Finn,” Murphy replied, and I turned around to see him with his hands in the air. I raised an eyebrow and he put them down. “I was half expecting you to throw something,” he explained.

“Fair enough,” I shrugged, sitting down in the mud and putting my head in my hands. “Who the hell does he think he is?”

“Do you want me to grab someone else? Clarke? Bellamy? Anyone other than me?” He shifted uncomfortably. 

“If you didn’t come to talk to me, then why are you even here?” I lifted my head long enough to raise an eyebrow at him before letting it fall back onto my knees. 

He shrugged, “Fair enough.” 

“It’s like, I get where he’s coming from and I _know_ he’s in love with her, but there’s no way Clarke’s proud of the person he’s become. And who gave him the right to bring up my past? I never asked him why he wasted a month’s worth of oxygen on an illegal spacewalk, so he shouldn’t bring up my murders! God, I sound ridiculous. Don’t I?”

“I mean, I knew you’d killed someone before you told me. I didn’t know why, but I knew that you had. But it’s a dick move of him to bring it up like that, even by my standards. I am interested though, why’d you tell me and Raven?”

I sighed, “You told me your story, and I realised we had a lot more in common than I thought. For some reason only god knows, I trusted you enough for it. The only other person that isn’t you or Raven that I’ve told the whole story to is Bellamy, and that was only when he thought he’d murdered someone.” 

It was Murphy’s turn to raise an eyebrow, “You trust me? And here I thought you hated me.”

“I don't trust you completely, but yeah, I trust you Murphy. Look. Yes, you’re an asshole, and yes, you’re also a murderer…” 

“Gee, thanks,” he laughed sarcastically.

“…But so am I,” I finished. “That, and I know a dozen different ways to murder you, so if you break my trust you _will_ regret it.” 

He smirked, “Only a dozen?” 

Laughing, I found myself smiling slightly. “Okay, _maybe_ a little more than a dozen.”

Unfortunately, before he had a chance to ask about any of them, Bellamy appeared with Clarke behind him and Finn and Octavia in tow. “We need to get out of here, now,” Finn shouted as he ran past, and Murphy and I had no choice but to shoot to our feet and go after them. 

We ran through the forest for quite a while, following Bellamy in the lead. “We need to keep moving!” He called back. “This way!” From the back of the group, I noticed that in front of me Octavia was more running towards Finn than she was away from the village, and when he made the mistake of slowing down and she finally caught up to him, I could tell all hell was about to break loose. Again.

“Nobody’s following,” Finn frowned, clearly confused. 

That’s when Octavia lunged at him, her fist making contact with his jaw with a satisfying crack as he stumbled backwards. “That’s because you  _ killed  _ everyone!” she screamed, ready to throw another punch if Bellamy hadn’t grabbed her and held her back. She lunged at Murphy instead and I pushed him behind me and held her at arm's length while Bellamy got her under control. 

“Back off, okay?” Murphy protested. “I tried to stop him.” 

“Not hard enough,” Bellamy snapped back at him. 

I glared at him, “You can’t blame Murphy for this. What the hell was he supposed to do? Put himself between them and the bullets? Is that what  _ you _ would’ve done?”

Clarke glanced at everyone, diffusing the situation before it escalated any further. “We shouldn’t stop here.”

Before anyone could say anything else, she was already running and Finn was following her. Bellamy reluctantly started to run again and Octavia glared daggers at Finn’s back. Murphy shot me a look before we started to follow them. 

And then we were running again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to be dramatic but Murphy and Alyssa are my brotp and I would die for them.


	6. Hangovers, Acid Fog and Dramatic Entrances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know what they say, what doesn't kill you--"
> 
> "Makes my brother slowly lose his sanity." 
> 
> "I'm pretty sure that's not the saying."

Back at Alpha Station, night had fallen and as I walked across the compound I spotted Clarke and Bellamy huddled over a piece of paper at a table in the corner. I made my way over, and as I got closer I noticed that it was a map of what seemed to be Mount Weather. I pulled up a chair, getting a better look. “So have we got any ideas of a rescue plan yet?”

“A little,” Clarke pointed at the dam. “That’s our way in.” 

“Sure, if we can get past the Reapers and the Mountain Men,” Bellamy deadpanned. “I swear to god, if your mom doesn’t sanction a mission soon, I’m going by myself.” 

My eyebrows shot up, “Like hell you are!” 

“You won’t be by yourself,” Clarke reassured him. Her eyes suddenly left Bellamy's face and flicked onto a subject behind him. _Finn._ I tensed up immediately. 

“Guess the inquisition’s over,” Bellamy remarked. “How’s Finn doing, anyway?” 

I bristled, and Clarke refused to meet his eyes. “I haven’t talked to him since we got back.” She sighed, “I don’t know what to say. He just kept shooting.”

“We’re at war. We’ve all done things,” he said solemnly as Finn arrived. 

“Hey,” Finn looked at Clarke. 

“Hey,” Bellamy replied, before sensing the change in atmosphere and getting up from his seat. “Next round’s on me.” 

Glaring at Finn, I turned to Bellamy and followed him towards the bar. “I’ll drink to _that_.” We zig-zagged through the crowd to get to the bar and I laughed. “I can’t believe they managed to get Monty’s still from the dropship.” We poured the drinks and I helped him carry them back to the table, which was now empty. “Well, more for me I guess.” 

“And me?” He raised an eyebrow but I only smirked in reply. 

“ _Whatever the hell you want._ ” I raised my glass, “A toast. After all of this shit, we’re still alive.” 

“We’re still alive,” Bellamy touched his glass to mine before drinking it down. I did the same, letting the moonshine down my throat. Just _once_ , I’d like to relax. It’s not my strong suit, but I’d like to give it a whirl without being worried that someone was going to die, or that we were going to be attacked by Grounders. _Cheers, to staying alive._

I picked up the second glass, looking around to make sure neither Clarke or Finn were coming back before I downed it, and as soon as he looked away I swapped it with Bellamy’s second glass. He picked up the glass absentmindedly and paused, realising that it was in fact _empty_. “Did you just?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I pulled a face. “More drinks? I’m gonna get more drinks.” 

~

“Are you hungover?” Raven hissed as we walked through the woods. Finn was leading, with Bellamy and Octavia just behind, leading the group, with Clarke and her mom just behind them. Raven and I were in the middle and she laughed as I rubbed my head. 

“In my defence,” I countered, “I wasn’t expecting to do a trek through the woods today, and even if we were going to, I didn’t think it would start before eleven in the fucking morning.” 

“We’re fighting a war, and you’re hungover?” She raised an eyebrow. “Can you still shoot? Throw knives?”

I laughed, “Definitely. Ask Octavia, I almost sliced her ear off this morning when she came in to wake me up. She startled me and the knife hit the wall right next to her head, since I was half-asleep then I’d say my aim is still on point now.” 

“Don’t forget to look up!” Bellamy called to the rest of the group. “The Grounders use the trees, that’s how we lost John Mbege."

Once we broke through the trees, Raven looked through the binoculars to see the radio tower. She pointed to it and handed me the binoculars so that I could have a look too. “I see it,” I nodded, before giving the binoculars to Clarke.

“It’ll be dark soon. We’ll never spot the traps. We should set up camp here, leave at first light.” She advised her mom, who looked around the group before frowning. 

“We’re missing two,” Abby handed the binoculars back to her daughter. “Where the hell are they?”

Someone called out, “Bellamy! Octavia!” and I felt my whole body tense up. 

Abby’s face hardened, “Clarke, we’re in enemy territory, and their lives are my responsibility.”

“They went to find a way in,” she revealed, and my hands curled into fists. _Why the hell had no one told me?_

“A way in? That’s not what this mission is about,” said Abby.

Clarke didn’t seem worried, “It is for them.” 

“Find them,” Abby turned to the nearest guard. “Bring them back.” 

“I’m going with them,” Finn picked up a gun. 

I scoffed, “No, I am.”

Raven caught him, stopping him from leaving. “We need you here.”

“Why? So you can keep an eye on me?” He paused, “You’d have to be able to look at me to do that.” I followed Clarke’s eyes all the way down to the gun in his hands and back. 

“Finn,” Raven tried to calm him, stepping forward. He jumped back, angry.

“What do you think I’m gonna do?” Finn threw the gun down, storming off and Clarke followed. I shook my head, sighing, before following the guards that left to look for Octavia and Bellamy. 

It wasn’t long before the other guards caught up to them, and I kept them in my sights as I lagged behind. I stopped, tying my shoelace, as I spotted all the insects in the forest rushing in one direction. Just like all the birds, just like when the acid fog came. I almost jumped upright, listening out. The familiar sound of the fog moving through the forest made its way to my ears and I set off at a run, shouting out to the others. “Acid fog! Take cover!” 

They began to get out the tents, and I noticed Octavia as she stood there unmoving. I followed her eyes, watching her as she followed them further into the forest. 

“O! O, get back here!” Bellamy rushed after her as the fog got closer and I realised what she had seen. 

“There’s something here, maybe it’s the ruins!” We pulled the door open in time and piled in, slamming the door behind us and unfortunately leaving one of our own out there. He was already consumed by the fog, and it would’ve been almost impossible to get to him now without risking anyone else's lives. 

“Let’s go,” Bellamy walked ahead, pulling out a flashlight. The ruins we had found seemed to be what was left of an old garage, and they were very much abandoned. 

“Where are we?” One of the soldiers asked, shining his flashlight around. 

“Looks like a garage,” Bellamy answered.

Octavia shook her head, “More like a tomb.”

Bellamy turned to the soldier, “Look, I’m sorry about your man, but we need to find an access door to Mount Weather.” 

“Hey, not so fast,” The soldier stopped him from moving any further.

“Sir, that fog could keep us pinned down for another—” Bellamy paused as the soldier brought out his gun.

“We’ll split up,” he suggested. “Be back here in fifteen.” The guard handed the gun to Bellamy. “Be safe.” 

We split, each heading down through different areas of the garage. I paused to peer through each of the windows, surprised to find the stuff inside almost perfectly preserved. I almost felt guilty for looking, some had children’s things inside and I wondered what had happened to the children the items belonged to. Did they grow up in Mount Weather? Did they grow up at all? There were cockroaches everywhere, and I opened one of the car doors. Surprisingly, it was unlocked, so I assumed something or other had fried the locks at some point. There was an MP3 player on the back seat and I picked it up, the headphones along with it, before tucking it into the inside of my jacket. Maybe it worked, maybe it doesn’t, who knows? 

I moved to open the door again and it had seemed to have locked behind me. Huh, so much for the locks having been fried. Bloody _child lock_. I spotted the other soldiers as one of them smashed a car window from the outside, picking up something from inside. Why couldn’t he just open the door like a normal person? Then again, look where that got me. He wound it up and it started playing music— Christmas music. I tried the handle once more before spotting a shadow behind the men. A shadow suspiciously large for one of our lot. _Grounders?_ I tried to get their attention but it turns out they didn’t need a warning as two gunshots punctuated the air. But it was too late. The Grounder grunted and smashed one of the guards’ skull in against the wall. I winced, drawing back slightly, before trying the door even harder. 

“Scott? Are you there?” I heard Bellamy call out, most likely investigating the gunshots. 

As my luck would have it, the front doors had apparently decided to lock too and I was forced to watch as one of the Grounders attacked another soldier, despite receiving a bullet for his efforts. I looked for a way out and found light coming from above, and on closer inspection realised the car had a sunroof. I tried kicking it out but with no luck, so I pulled my jacket up and over my head and put my head down, shooting it out. The sunroof cracked and I used the opportunity to burst through it, pulling my jacket back on properly as I launched myself at the Grounder from behind, landing on top of him. I grabbed a knife and slit his throat from behind, falling to my knees on top of the man as he fell to the ground, just as Bellamy and Octavia arrived. Bellamy shot me a look and raised his eyebrows, “What is it with you and dramatic entrances?” 

“Aw, come on Blake, let me have this,” I laughed, just as he raised the gun and shot down another Grounder who had heard the commotion. 

“Reapers,” Octavia shuddered, and I realised they were what she’d said had taken Lincoln. Not normal Grounders after all, then. There was one more Reaper, and as Bellamy handed Scott’s pistol to his sister I shone my flashlight on the remaining figure, hunched over the bodies of our fallen soldiers. Bellamy cocked his rifle, aiming it, but Octavia suddenly realised something and put herself in the way. 

“Don’t,” she lowered her own gun, “It’s Lincoln.” Octavia advanced towards him, “Lincoln. Lincoln it’s me.” He didn’t respond, slowly standing up and following the sound of her voice. “It’s me, it’s Octavia,” she pleaded. But he didn’t recognise her. 

Lincoln got closer, before slamming her against the wall and throwing her over a nearby four-by-four. Bellamy raised his gun, but Octavia fired first. The shot clipped the side of his leg and as he turned around to face her, he got slammed in the head with the rifle, knocking him unconscious. I ran over to Octavia, hauling her to her feet as Bellamy grabbed her other arm. “We have to get out of here and get somewhere safe.”

While he was out cold, we ran quietly through the maze of cars, desperate to find a place to hide. “He’s a Reaper? How is it even possible?” Octavia panted, unable to figure it out. “He just looked right through me.” Bellamy pulled her into a car, pushing me in before shutting the door as quietly as possible behind us as we tried to blend into the old seats.

I put my arm out, pressing her further into the back seat and Bellamy tried to calm her down, shushing her so that Lincoln wouldn’t hear us. “ _How?_ ” she whispered, “He just—” Lincoln approached the car, causing her to go quiet. He looked through the window but didn’t seem to see us. I watched as blood dripped from his lips, no doubt the blood of the soldiers. “Did he see us?” Octavia hissed, shivering.

“I don’t know,” Bellamy replied, as Lincoln seemed to stare right through us, before putting his hand against the glass and walking away. “Shh, listen to me, O. We’ll get him back, I promise.” 

“And I promise not to kill him if he attacks me, if it’s any consolation,” I added. Non-lethal combat wasn’t exactly my strong suit, what with the guns and dozen knives I was used to. But for Octavia, I would make a good effort not to accidentally shoot and or fatally stab any of her boyfriend’s major organs. 

Lincoln moved on, still looking for us, and Bellamy slowly opened the car door. “Draw him in, I’ll do the rest,” he nodded, and Octavia slowly edged her way around the back of the car. I followed close behind, keeping a lookout.

“Lincoln? Lincoln, can you hear me?” She called out, and I watched from just behind the car as he emerged from the shadows. When he began to come over, she whispered an apology as Bellamy blocked the exit behind him and used the shock baton belonging to one of the guards until he fell unconscious. 

“Now what?” I panted, checking around to make sure there weren’t any other Reapers. 

“Now we take him home.”

I took a moment to catch my breath as Bellamy looked me up and down, pausing to pick a piece of glass out of my hair before hauling Lincoln upright. He sighed, trying to think of something to say. 

I grinned, “You know what they say, what doesn’t kill you—”

“Makes my brother slowly lose his sanity,” Octavia finished with a small smile as she propped up Lincoln’s other side, slightly hopeful. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not the saying,” Bellamy tried to protest, before shoving the shock baton through his belt loop with a sigh.


	7. You Guys Never Heard Of CPR?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Where's Clarke?"
> 
> "Trying to stop a war."

Once again, I found myself back at the dropship. Bellamy had gone to tell Clarke and the others what had happened, which left just me and Octavia watching over Lincoln. He was chained in the same place they had chained him to torture him but it didn’t seem to trigger any memories and he still didn’t recognise either of us. It was hard to tell what was specifically wrong with him, and there was no way to really know what had happened to turn him into a Reaper, at least, not without Clarke. Octavia and I sat in the opposite corner, out of the way of Lincoln’s screaming as he thrashed about in his restraints in an attempt to break free. She picked the pieces of glass out of my hair and kept talking about how it was some sort of a miracle that it had barely cut me, and that none of the glass was actually stuck in my skin. The worst I had faced was a cut at the base of my spine from where I had pulled my jacket up to shield my head, and a cut over my eyebrow which would probably scar. 

I briefly wondered what Jackson would say if I returned to the remains of the Ark looking in the state I did. He’d probably sigh and shake his head, trying to remain optimistic as he patched me back up like last time. It was less painful this time since none of the cuts were too deep, so there was a considerable amount less swearing as Octavia cleaned my scratches and wounds. 

Clarke arrived, and she instantly took on an expression of shock. I couldn’t blame her, last time she’d seen Lincoln he’d been the complete opposite of this. Calm, strong, protective. Now, he looked like he’d much rather tear us all limb from limb, and I had to admit it wasn’t a good look on him. Octavia didn’t seem to think so either. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Bellamy explained. “He’s been restrained.”

She shook her head, unable to take in the sight of Lincoln thrashing against his restraints. “I can’t believe we’re back here again,” she whispered. 

“Can you help him?” Octavia asked hopefully.

Clarke shook her head, “I don’t know.” She took a few steps forwards cautiously, taking care not to get too close. “I knew Mount Weather controlled the Reapers, I had no idea they were creating them.” 

Lincoln leant forwards and snarled, growling loudly and wildly. Bellamy looked at him worriedly, “If they can do that to Lincoln… what are they doing to our friends?” 

I shone the flashlight on Lincoln so that she was able to get a better look. After a while, he stopped pulling on his restraints and instead began to shake violently. “What’s happening?” I asked, concerned.

“He’s… convulsing?” Clarke’s eyes trailed down his body, “What happened to his leg?” 

Octavia looked at the wound and the blood surrounding it. “I shot him,” she answered, her face stained with guilt. 

“Clarke, he’s lost a lot of blood,” Bellamy told her, stressing the importance of the situation. She took a few more steps towards him and he pulled on his restraints so hard the chains looked like they were about to snap. I watched the restraints warily, wondering how much more they could take. 

“Can you shine the light on his neck?” She asked me, and I obliged. The light caused Lincoln to flinch away, revealing the small marks. “Needle marks...” 

Bellamy picked up a flashlight too, leaning in slightly for a better look. “You think he’s been drugged?”

“Maybe, I—” before Clarke could say anything else, the hook that the chain holding Lincoln’s right arm in place was attached to pulled straight out of the wall and he wrapped her in an arm, trying to crack her skull in. Octavia ran forwards, shouting his name, but he threw her into the wall and she crumpled against it with a small moan. Bellamy grabbed him, repeatedly hitting Lincoln’s arm to make his grip slacken. It did, but only so he could headbutt Bellamy so hard he almost fell down the hatch into the dropship’s lower level. 

Lincoln threw Clarke to the ground, pulling the chains over his head and reaching for Bellamy’s legs. He pulled out of the way just in time so Lincoln grabbed me, pulling my legs out from under me so my head smacked the floor with an almighty thud. “ _Fuck!_ ” I kicked out, trying to land a good kick before I remembered what was in the boot he had a hold of. I grabbed the knife out of it and when I kicked again he lost his grip, holding on only by the laces. I leant forwards and sliced the thread, leaving him with only the frayed piece of string as Bellamy pulled me out of the way. He got up, grabbing the shock baton and ran at Lincoln with it. Lincoln wrestled it out of his grip and lifted Bellamy up, slamming him down on the floor and punching him repeatedly. Clarke tried to stop him but she got thrown backwards, and as I staggered to my feet I made the mistake of trying to throw a badly aimed punch, which only got me thrown backwards further. 

Octavia appeared out of nowhere, slamming Lincoln in the face and then the back of the head with a large metal pole from the dropship, knocking him unconscious. She leant over her brother and pulled him into a sitting position as he rubbed his head and winced. Unsure of how much time we would have before he woke up, we acted quickly and managed to restrain him again, but barely. The original hooks weren’t strong enough so we had to improvise. Bellamy was forced to hold him down as Clarke opened the medkit.

“We have to remove the bullet, he’s losing too much blood,” she explained, leaning over him. 

Lincoln groaned in pain and Octavia tried to give him something to drink, only to have him choke and spit it back in her face before trying to bite her hand. She pulled it out of the way, unfazed. “Okay, I’ll just get some more.” Octavia stood up and took the flask with her.

“O, once the drug is out of his system he’ll be okay,” Bellamy tried to reassure her. 

She sighed, “You can’t protect me from this one, big brother,” before disappearing down the ladder and going outside. He watched her leave and raked a hand through his hair once she was gone, knowing she was right, as he sat back down and held Lincoln in place for Clarke. 

“Your mom would be proud,” he told her as she wrapped the bandage around Lincoln’s leg.

Clarke continued to adjust the bandage, “My mom would know how to save him.” She turned around to pack the medkit away as Octavia returned. 

But she wasn’t alone.

She stood between the Grounder that had followed her up the ladder, and the gun that her brother had reached for. Octavia held her hands out before she explained, “This is Nyko. He’s Lincoln’s friend and a healer. Bellamy lowered his gun just as Lincoln started to seize again, white foam dripping out of his mouth. Nyko knelt down next to his friend and produced a bag full of small vials. He picked one and uncorked it, holding it over Lincoln’s head.

“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” he whispered. 

Just as a drop of the liquid was about to reach Lincoln’s mouth, Clarke stuck her hand out between them and stopped it. Nyko glared at her and pulled out his knife, causing Bellamy to raise the gun again. “Back off, right now,” he warned.

“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” Clarke repeated, “It’s what they say before death. He’s not trying to heal him, he’s trying to kill him.” 

Octavia looked at Lincoln before shooting Nyko a glare that didn’t need to be followed by any words. I knew this easily because she looked exactly how I felt, her gaze simply read “ _What the fuck?_ ” which was an expression I was all too familiar with in times like this. In fact, I’d probably been wearing it when I discovered what a Reaper was a few hours ago.

“Nyko? Is it true?” She looked at him, betrayal lacing her words. 

He looked at her and nodded. “Yes. Death is the only way.” 

“Hold on, there could be a way to bring him back.” Clarke tried to explain to him, but she was cut off as Finn climbed the ladder, appearing in the top level of the dropship. 

“We have to go, the camp’s leaving,” he warned, immediately before stopping in his tracks and locking eye contact with Nyko. 

Nyko stood up, charging at Finn and for some unknown reason, I put myself between them. “Murderer!” Nyko shouted, but I refused to move out the way, which meant that I got pushed to the side as he grabbed Finn by the collar and held him against the wall. “You slaughtered my people. Elders, children, innocents.”

“Get off him,” Bellamy pointed the gun at Nyko’s face.

Octavia tried to intercept, “Nyko, you’re killing him!”

“Blood must have blood!” He spat.

I tried to pry Nyko away from Finn, but he was considerably larger than myself and it didn’t work. “Look, I get that you really want to kill him and I’ve honestly thought about it myself, but now is really _not_ the best time for revenge!” 

Bellamy raised the gun and shouted at his sister to get out of the way, she refused to move, knowing there was no way that she would let him shoot Nyko. I heard a buzzing sound behind me and turned around in time to see Clarke hit Nyko full blast with a shock baton, watching him cry out as he hit the floor unconscious. Octavia looked at Nyko, but her head slowly turned to the right as she spotted Lincoln, calling out his name. 

I noticed what had happened, “Clarke! He’s not breathing!” 

Clarke knelt down next to him, moving Octavia out the way. “His heart’s stopped.” She began performing chest compressions until Lincoln coughed, trying to suck as much air into his lungs as possible. _Alive_. I relaxed slightly, rubbing the back of my head where it had hit the floor and wincing. At least my hands didn’t come away red, so there wasn’t any blood. 

“He was dead.” Nyko stared at Lincoln, “How did you do that?”

“Have you tried bringing Reapers back before?” Clarke asked, looking between Lincoln and Nyko, who nodded. “And they died like this?” Another nod.

“Shit, you guys never heard of CPR?” I raised an eyebrow, genuinely surprised.

Bellamy looked over, watching Clarke’s face as it changed from relieved to the look of someone who had just had a game-changing idea. “What is it?” 

“I know how to stop the attack.”

Octavia continued to watch over Lincoln as he stabilised, his breaths becoming more and more even as he drifted in and out of consciousness, almost de-Reaper-fied (I am well aware that’s not a word, by the way). Clarke and Finn left, going straight for the Ark to reveal her plan to her mother and hopefully intercept the Commander and convince her to agree. 

“Okay?”

“What?” I turned around to realise Bellamy was looking at me with concern. 

“I said, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” I laughed, brushing him off. “I just need some air.” 

He shook his head, “Oh no, I’m not letting you out of my sight in case you pass out. Sit.” He pointed to the floor and crossed his arms, not taking no for an answer. 

“Bellamy, I’m _fine_.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes, “Did you say that after you got stabbed too?”

I scoffed, “Of course not. When I got _stabbed_ , I turned around and said ‘okay, _rude_.’ before stabbing him back. Why would I tell someone trying to stab me that they failed miserably?” I tapped my head, “Smarts.” He laughed, watching Octavia and Lincoln out of the corner of his eye to make sure his sister was okay, before leaning over and putting a hand on my elbow to guide me to the floor as I tipped precariously to one side. 

“You were saying?” He laughed, folding his arms again once I was safely sitting down. 

“Pft, I knew you wouldn’t let me fall anyway. Third times the charm, right? ‘Cause I’m _smart_ ,” I smiled, pointing at myself. 

~

When Finn arrived back, I was just waking up from a short nap and I was surprised to realise that he wasn’t followed by Clarke, but Abby. “Oh, thank god. Where’s Clarke?” Octavia sighed in relief when he arrived, but it was short-lived when she realised Clarke wasn’t with him. 

“Trying to stop a war,” Finn replied solemnly. 

Abby’s eyes shifted from Octavia, to Nyko, to finally land on Lincoln as she knelt down next to him. He was shivering and simultaneously sweating as he went through the withdrawal of whatever the hell it was he’d been given. Bellamy sat down next to them to help, and I crawled closer to watch and see if I could be of any assistance. Abby shone a small light into his eyes, pulling the lids open so that she could see them. “Pupils are unresponsive.” I couldn’t tell if she was talking to herself or us, but she was definitely talking to one of us when she asked, “Tie off his arm. Tight as you can.” 

Octavia complied, looking up as Abby pulled out a vial and filled up a syringe. “What’s that?” she asked warily. 

“This will bring down his fever,'' Abby answered as she leant over Lincoln to be able to put the needle into his arm. He flinched and shook, not taking lightly to being stabbed with an unknown needle. I couldn’t blame him after the Mountain Men drugged him, but it was important that he knew we were trying to help. “Hold him down!” Abby called out, and we all grabbed a limb and pressed it into the floor to stop him from moving so that she could inject him. 

He groaned and began to shake again. Octavia’s eyes filled with worry, “What’s happening? Why isn’t it working?” 

“His heart’s stopped,” Abby replied, already performing chest compressions. “You’re their healer?” She asked Nyko, who nodded. “Tilt his chin back. Pull his chin down to open his airway,” she ordered. He immediately set to work while the rest of us watched, tense. “Come on,” she whispered, “Come on!” 

“You’re stopping… what’s wrong?” Octavia looked up at her in horror.

“I’m sorry. He’s gone.”

Octavia shook her head, taking over. “No. It’s not possible. You’re wrong!” She began to cry, continuing to carry out CPR as tears fell onto his body. “Come back, please!”

Unfortunately, Clarke chose that moment to arrive with the Commander and at least three Grounders. The moment one of them realised Lincoln was dead, she whispered “I’ll kill them all,” and everyone grabbed their weapons. It was like a tangled rope, each person pointing their weapon at a different person, who was pointing their weapon at someone else, until it was a complete and utter mess, while Octavia sobbed uncontrollably on the floor. I had a knife in each hand, ready to throw, and Bellamy’s gun was raised directly at the Commander. 

“Please, you don’t have to do this,” Clarke tried to reason with her. 

The Commander’s expression gave nothing away as she spoke, “You lied, and you’re out of time.” 

Someone moved but it wasn’t an attack, and Abby turned around and thrust the shock baton she’d grabbed into Lincoln’s chest. _A makeshift defibrillator._ Genius! It didn’t work, but she hit him again and his eyes were thrown open, causing everyone to let out the breath that they had collectively been holding. Octavia leant over him, whispering his name. 

“Octavia,” he whispered back, and everyone lowered their weapons. She was overcome with emotions and hugged him fiercely. The Commander left with Clarke following behind, along with the rest of the Grounders. Nyko stayed behind, but the rest of us moved to the lower level to allow Octavia and Lincoln some privacy. Well, as much privacy as they could have with Nyko there anyway.


	8. Spacewalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have an idea, but you're going to have to trust me."
> 
> "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

We waited by the gates for Clarke’s return, signalled by Bellamy calling out: “Hold your fire, she’s back! Open the gate.”

She was flanked by two riders and as soon as Finn appeared to welcome her back she dragged him away from the gates as they closed. Something was wrong. Her mom ran up to her and hugged her in relief, before keeping her hands on her daughter’s shoulders as she asked the question we had all been waiting for. “Is there a chance for a truce?”

After a moment, “Yes,” Clarke replied, wringing her hands and refusing to make eye contact with anyone. I shared a look with Bellamy and we watched as Finn asked her what was wrong. Her eyes trailed across the ground before finally meeting his. “They want you.” She explained to the rest of the small group, “If we want a truce, we have to give them Finn.”

“Well, shit.” Everyone turned to glare at me, and I realised I probably should’ve kept my opinion to myself. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Raven cut in, directing all looks away from me and at her instead. 

Clarke took a deep breath, “That’s their offer.”

“That’s not an offer…” Raven trailed off.

“It’s a punishment,” Finn finished for her. “For what happened at the village. Blood for blood.” 

Bellamy frowned, “That’s insane.” 

“And if we refuse?” Abby asked, already knowing the answer. 

“Then they attack.” 

This prompted the crowd’s reactions, both good and bad. There were some choruses of “He’s just a kid!”, but it was mostly just different variations of “Give him up!” and “Get rid of him!” 

Raven turned around, pushing someone who got to close. “Back off!” Bellamy was forced to intercept a punch meant for her, dragging the man out of the way as Clarke tried to calm her down. 

“Raven, listen to me. Nothing is going to happen to him,” she promised. “I promise, okay?” But it was a promise that she was going to have to break. 

Someone moved forwards, “Spacewalker wasted three months of oxygen on the Ark. He should’ve floated a long time ago.” The man pointed at him accusingly. I didn’t remember when, but at some point I must have stepped protectively in front of Finn, and the man’s annoying sausage finger was a little too close to my face for my liking. 

“Point again with that finger and you’ll lose it,” I threatened, my hand already resting on the handle of my most accessible knife. Before I had a chance to follow through, Raven threw herself at the nearest protester, arms flailing wildly. Byrne grabbed her, pulling her away from the crowd but Raven punched her in the face, and another guard cuffed her and began to take her away. 

“It’s our only option!” Another person in the crowd screamed, and I watched as the remainder of the Ark’s population slowly descended into chaos. 

I turned around at a tap on my shoulder, all but ready to throw a punch until I realised it was only Murphy. He looked around, a slightly amused expression on his face. “So on a scale of one to ‘float me now’, how screwed are we?”

~

I waited until Bellamy had left Finn before ducking out of my hiding spot in the corner. “So Spacewalker, when are you leaving?”

“What?” He seemed taken aback, before assuming the worst. “You want me to turn myself in?”

“God no, but I know you’re considering it. And I don’t want you to.”

“I thought you hated me,” he laughed.

I shook my head, “I did. Then I got over it once I realised you hated yourself more. I know what that's like.” 

Finn sighed, “I’m putting everyone in this camp in danger just by being alive.”

“They’ll kill you if you try to run, and if you turn yourself in they’ll torture and _then_ kill you. You did it all for Clarke, do you really think she’ll let you go?” 

“Maybe that’s what I deserve. For what I’ve done.” 

“I killed a guy when I was fucking _fifteen years old._ Lord knows I’ve killed others since. I killed Grounders in the battle at the dropship, I killed Dax when he tried to take out Bellamy, I’ve killed Reapers… You did what you thought you had to, because you were trying to save someone you loved. Yes, you fucked up, but we all have at some point. Don’t think you deserve to die, Finn, because you don’t.” 

I left him to think, hoping he chose the right choice, before joining The Guard and watching the perimeter. I grabbed a gun, but Byrne put her hand over mine before I could pick it up. “Ever shot a gun before, kid? Now’s not the best time to try.” 

I rolled my eyes, “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve got it handled.” 

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that,” she warned, hand moving slowly towards her shock baton. 

“If you don’t give me the damn gun, I won’t be able to prove it.” I snatched the gun from below her grasp and loaded it, before shooting her a fake smile and walking over towards Murphy. “They gave you a gun? Damn, we must be more screwed than I thought.” 

“Ha ha ha, Lyss," his words were laced with sarcasm. "I’m surprised, your sense of humour has improved since we’ve been on earth.” 

I feigned horror, nudging his arm. “You know, Murphy, anyone would think you’d _actually_ taken a liking to me by this point.” 

“Give off the impression we were friends?” He reeled back and pulled a face. “I could never.” 

We continued the back and forth for a few minutes, staying at our posts but not bored. It was obvious by the war drums that they were ready for action, but no one moved apart from Abby, Clarke and Bellamy as they delivered a message to the riders at the gates. Most likely that Finn would not be coming with them, and that we were willing to fight because of it. The Guard watched the woods for movement, careful to notice any Grounders preparing for a sneak attack. 

A large horn sounded and the riders left. A rather dishevelled looking Marcus Kane called out “Don’t shoot!” as he began to make his way to the gates. They shut behind him and he brought Abby into the station, disappearing. After a moment of waiting, Raven followed them inside presumably to wait outside the door, and Bellamy took off after her. 

“I have a bad feeling about this…” I muttered as I watched Clarke go back inside to Finn. 

“Go,” Murphy sighed, “If Byrne comes around I’ll make up some excuse.”

“Sure you’re not going soft on me?” 

He scoffed, “Why the hell would I do that? Now _go_.” Murphy gave me a light shove in the direction of the station and I set off at a jog, checking all the corridors until I finally found the others. 

Clarke protested, grabbing on to Finn’s sleeve. “No! You know this is the safest place for him right now.” 

“It isn’t if they’re turning on him,” Bellamy continued to walk, continuously checking to make sure no one was watching. “We can protect him at the dropship until we figure this thing out. Grab your gear and meet at Raven’s gate in five, she’s already working on cutting the power to the fence.” 

I rolled my eyes at Finn as he stopped, forcing the rest of us to stop too. “Okay, but nobody’s coming with me.” 

“No,” I replied. No emotion, no intensifiers, no swearing. Just a cold, hard, _no_. “Not happening.” 

“That isn’t up for discussion,” Bellamy turned to him. 

Clarke thought it over, “We are surrounded by Grounders, it won’t work.” 

“If we split up, we take the low ground, we’ll make it through,” Bellamy explained, so sure of himself I almost had no doubts. _Almost_. “Meet at the dropship, then—” 

“There he is.” A man’s voice called out and I turned around. “You’re going to get us all killed!” He advanced, ready to throw punches but Bellamy disabled him and sent him to the ground. 

“Anyone else?”

I stepped up, nodding to Bellamy as Clarke and Finn took off. “Go, I got this handled,” I winked. “You want to go after him? You’ve got to go through me.”

“You’re just a kid.” 

“So is he.”

“You’re a little girl,” another man laughed. 

I shrugged, “Correction, a little girl who was supposed to get floated for murder. I’m one of the hundred, and I’m a survivor.” I blocked the only door between them and Finn. “So I’ll say this _one_ more time, you want him? Come at me.” I cracked my knuckles and raised my fists. “Yeah? That’s what I thought.”

~

“Let’s go. Up, come on. Raven said we could use an extra gun and invited you since you’re a half-decent shot.” I hauled Murphy up to his feet and he brushed me off, looking around in confusion. 

“Wait, let me get this straight… You’re asking _me_ for help?” 

I rolled my eyes, grabbing his arm and pulling him along with me and out through Raven’s gate, “We’re going to the dropship. That’s where Finn and Clarke will be waiting.” He slowed down and I sighed, “Don’t make me drag you there.” 

“Okay, okay! I’ll pick up the pace.” He raised a hand in surrender and we set off quietly towards the woods, ready for the trek to the old campsite. 

By the time we got there, only Bellamy and Raven had arrived, and they were getting pretty antsy. Apparently, Finn and Clarke were supposed to already be here, and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation. “Guys, they know the woods, they’ll be fine.”

Poor choice of words, the moment I finished the sentence Finn rushed in, carrying Clarke in his arms. The back of her head was bloody and Murphy and Bellamy helped lower her down. “What the hell happened?” Bellamy asked, running to the dropship door and back to check that they hadn’t been followed.

“Grounder attack, hit her on the back of the head,” Finn replied, and I could tell by the guilt on his face that he was regretting leaving the Ark. 

Bellamy knelt down next to her, “I need a bandage, a rag… anything?” 

He ran and grabbed something while Murphy held her head steady. I leant over her, “Clarke? Clarke, can you hear me?” She mumbled something and drifted in and out of consciousness. Bellamy pushed a piece of her hair out of her face with his hand and sat down next to her. 

“You’re going to be fine, you just need rest,” he whispered.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Finn pacing and Raven trying to comfort him. “Hey, it’s just a bump on the head. Clarke’s gonna be okay,” she told him. “Are you? We’ll figure this out,” Raven reached for his arm but he pulled away. 

“That’s what she said. Right before I almost got her killed.” He shrugged her off and stormed out, Raven racing after him. 

“I’ll watch outside,” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll shout if I need backup.” 

It wasn’t long before Raven and Finn returned, but they were quiet, like they’d had a long emotional conversation and it had all but completely drained them. The first thing Finn did when he went back inside was check on Clarke, and Raven sat beside them. I watched along the treeline, keeping an eye out for Grounders from just outside the dropship until Bellamy and Murphy came out. Bellamy had eyes on the main gate, and Murphy on the tunnel at the side, giving me the opportunity to climb up one of the trees that was undamaged by the fire. At some point, it must’ve been a tree I’d slept in, as when I got to a suitable height I discovered a seatbelt from the dropship wrapped around one of the branches. I laughed, wondering what the odds were that it would still be there as I strapped myself in and raised my gun, but not before giving myself a quick pat down to make sure all my knives were still in place. 

I scoured the trees, the rifle comforting in my hands. Clear. I looked across the other side of the camp. Clear. I looked towards the tunnels. Clear. 

And then they all appeared at once. _What the fuck?_ There were loads of them, and I whistled to let the others know. No point in me shouting, I was in prime position— it would’ve been foolish to reveal myself. Bellamy caught on and nodded, calling to the others from inside. “We’ve got company, get out here!” 

Finn appeared with a rifle and Clarke followed him out with her mom’s pistol, both of them crouching down behind the charred remains of my old favourite tree and levelling their weapons. _We’re surrounded_ , I thought. _We’re screwed_. 

After a quiet discussion, Clarke and Finn ran inside and Raven followed. Bellamy sent Murphy back into the dropship too before covertly looking at me. I shook my head, mouthing “I’ll be fine, go inside.” 

It was Bellamy’s turn to shake his head, running a hand through his hair. “No.” 

“ _Go._ ”

Reluctantly, he followed the others inside, checking on the Grounder’s positions periodically as they stayed out of range of the dropship, probably not wanting to get shot. They were probably going to wait until it got dark to strike. We could have a shot now, taking them by surprise, but since there was no way of telling how many there were it would be impossible to win. 

It began to get dark and I sighed. _Screw it._ “Don’t shoot the lookout,” I called out, climbing down the tree and walking casually into the dropship. Huh, can’t believe that actually worked. 

“Any change out there?” Bellamy asked, but I shook my head. 

“They’re just waiting. They want Finn. And we can’t attack, I don’t know how many there are but it’s too many for us alone.”

Murphy groaned, “Anyone got any better ideas then?”

“We’ll give them something,” Raven began to pace. 

Bellamy shook his head. “All they want is Finn.”

“Finn wasn’t the only one at the village,” her glance strayed towards Murphy.

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asked, horrified.

“Abso-fucking-lutely not,” I protested, moving to stand between them. Murphy shot me a look, eyebrows raised. I ignored his surprise and stood my ground. “No way.” 

“Raven, I came here to protect him,” Murphy took a step back, “Lyss said you needed more guns and you wanted me to—” He turned to me, “Did you know?”

My eyes went wide as I realised she had been planning this. “I had no idea, I wouldn’t… Raven, _what the fuck?_ ” 

“That’s why you asked me to come along,” he laughed.

“Enough Grounders saw him at the village. They’d believe he was the shooter.” 

“Sick bitch,” Murphy hissed, shaking his head. 

I raised a hand, “You’re forgetting one thing. Nyko— he was there. He saw everything and he knows it wasn’t Murphy. He watched Finn do it! It wouldn’t work.” 

“Raven, you don’t mean this—” Clarke pleaded.

Bellamy tried to change her mind, “You know what they do to people—” 

She cut them both off, “They want a murderer, we’ll give them one.” 

“I’d like to point out that even though I wasn’t in the village with them, I am _also_ a murderer.” I gave her a wave and despite the circumstances, I noticed Murphy tried to hide his laughter with a cough. 

Raven cocked her gun, pushing me out the way and aiming it at Murphy. “Drop your gun! Now!” Murphy walked towards it, raising his hands. 

“Go to hell, Raven.” 

Clarke whispered, “Put it down, Raven. Like it or not, he’s one of us.” 

“I said _drop_ it,” her gun was less than a foot from Murphy’s chest. 

“Stop! Stop,” Finn moved the gun and stood in the way. “We’re not doing this. They’ve got us surrounded. The only thing we can do is stay and defend this place.” 

“I’m with you,” Bellamy nodded, the rest of us following suit. 

“Murphy, go upstairs and watch the rear with Alyssa. I’ll take the lower level. You three, take the front gate.” Finn ordered. “That’s the plan, got it?” 

We all nodded and I followed Murphy up the ladder. He positioned himself by the hole in the wall that he’d made a few weeks ago, leaving enough room for me next to him. I watched him, knowing that the whole ‘hand him over’ scenario had to be running through his mind on a loop. He held the gun so tight his knuckles had already gone white and if he tensed anymore I thought he might start shaking. I looked around the back and realised where there would be a better vantage point, the only problem is if I wanted to get there via a “safe” route, then I’d have to climb down and walk around. “Missing all the action,” I muttered as I stuck my head and shoulders fully out of the hole, surprised when Murphy grabbed me by the jacket and pulled me back through. 

“What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He pushed my head down below the window once I was back inside to keep me out of sight. 

“Chill, okay? I have an idea, but you’re going to have to trust me.”

He sighed, “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

“Come on, Murphy. Do you trust me?” I asked, holding out my hand. 

“Unfortunately, yes,” he rolled his eyes. “What’s your plan?” 

I grinned, “You see that tree?” 

“Please tell me we’re not going to—” 

I had already climbed out the window, holding onto the edge of the dropship as I jumped, pushing off and grabbing hold of the branch. It wobbled slightly, but I’d landed close enough to the centre for it to not have been an issue. I scrambled for a better grip and clamped the seatbelt down for something to hold on to. “From here, I can see the back _and_ the front of the dropship,” I took a bow as much as I could without falling off. “You’re welcome.” 

“How the hell am I supposed to get there?” He peered out of the ship, looking at the ground and then the tree nearby. 

“You’ve got longer legs than me, so you might be able to just step. How’s your balancing?”

“Shit, Lyss,” he climbed out and balanced just as I’d done, before reaching out a hand and a leg to try and reach the tree. 

“I’m going to grab you and pull you in. _Don’t_ make it weird,” I laughed, holding the seat belt to keep me attached to the tree and grabbing his arm to pull him in. 

Murphy rolled his eyes, “You see _now_ I’m thinking about ways that could’ve been weird.”

“Shut up,” I laughed. “See? Perfect vantage point.” 

“I hate how you’re right.” 

“Hold onto this,” I loosened the seatbelt and brought it down a foot, tightening it again afterwards. He grabbed it and held on tight. “Scared of heights, Murphy?”

“Not in the slightest,” he shot back. “Lyss, movement on the other side of the wall.” 

I raised my gun and looked down the scope, “Holy shit!” I whispered as the figure put his hands in the air. “It’s Finn!” Clarke shot up and ran towards him, but the Grounders had already grabbed him and taken him with them, leaving the rest of us alone at the camp while we stared at the space where he had been. 

_Shit._

~

The climb down from the tree wasn’t amazing, and I realised it might not have been the most practical thing to do for a quick getaway, but Murphy and I managed to make our way down somewhat unscathed. Once we were able to rendezvous with the others at the dropship, the small group practically ran full pelt all the way back to the Ark— which was saying something, because it’s a real trek. There was a two-second breather during which Raven— who hadn’t stopped once— overtook me with her steady fast pace, and I resolved to not use all my energy up in one go.

Needless to say, once we got back we practically collapsed and I couldn’t tell who was holding up who at one point. It was completely dark and we could see the Grounders as they nailed a large beam into the ground. It was for Finn. _They wanted us to watch_. 

“We’re gonna get him,” Bellamy whispered determinedly. “We’ll get in close and we’ll hit them hard. 

Kane looked at him and sighed, “Son, there’s thousands of them. Even if we could kill hundreds they’d still wipe out this camp and your friend would still die.”

“But we have to at least _try_ ,” he pleaded. 

“Abby,” Raven looked to Clarke’s mom, “Abby we have to do something.” 

“No, Raven,” she replied as tears welled up in Raven’s eyes. 

“We can’t,” I whispered. “He made the choice. He did it for us, to die trying to save him from the choice _he_ made to protect us…” I trailed off, running a hand through my hair. “It wouldn’t be fair to him. It was his decision to do this.” 

Clarke looked at the scene before turning around and disappearing into the crowd. I frowned at Bellamy, who had also noticed, and we both followed her, Raven close behind. “Take this,” Clarke handed over her bag and her gun. “I’m going to talk to the Commander.” 

“What else do you have to say?” Bellamy asked.

“I don’t know! I don’t know,” she sighed, her mind made up. 

“Clarke!” I turned around to see Raven grab her hand, sliding a knife up her sleeve. _Damn, that’s my speciality?_ “If she won’t let him go, kill her.” Clarke nodded, accepting it. “Things will go crazy, and we’ll swoop in and grab you and Finn. Clarke, you have to help him. I owe him my _life_ ,” she whispered.

I tensed, watching as she left through the gate and made her way down towards the Grounders. She seemed so sure of herself, even with Indra’s spear on her torso, slowly causing a spot of blood to appear. I could see the other Grounders as they brought Finn out and tied him to the stake. 

“Come on, Clarke. Do it,” Raven whispered.

The Commander tilted her head slightly, and I realised she was nodding. I got my hopes up, holding my breath. But it wasn’t to let him go. It was to let her say goodbye. Clarke walked towards him slowly, gaining speed before grabbing Finn and pulling him into a kiss. She pulled away, one hand hugging him while her other hand disappeared and… _oh my god._ Finn went limp and I gasped as she stepped away, revealing the large bloodstain on his front as she turned away. My hand grabbed the arm of whoever was closest, not caring who it was, as on my other side, Raven screamed and crumpled, Bellamy slowly lowering her to the ground and holding her as she cried out for him. He held her as she sobbed until she lost all power, slowly succumbing to exhaustion and only shaking in her friend’s arms. I released whoever I had grabbed, wiping away the tears from my eyes before looking to the side to see who it was and apologise. _Murphy_. He gave me a small, somewhat sympathetic smile in return. 

_Finn was dead._

_And it was Clarke who killed him._


	9. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We may be here a while..."

Raven and I followed at a distance as Abby and Kane went down to see Clarke. She stayed with Finn’s body while I peered into the tent and watched as she tried to scrub Finn’s blood off her hands. When Abby and Kane entered the tent I ducked around a corner so as to not be seen. I wasn’t supposed to be there, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I couldn’t help her after what had just happened. Two different voices started speaking and I realised one of them was the Commander. I waited until her and her soldiers had left, giving it a minute until Clarke followed them.

“Clarke!” I called to her, and she looked around to see where the voice had come from. Once she spotted me I ran over and pulled her into a hug. “Are you okay? God, that’s a stupid question, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise, you’re the first person to ask,” she whispered back, hugging me harder. 

“This is for the blood, get the rest of it completely off your hands or you won’t be able to concentrate on anything, trust me,” I handed her the flask I’d grabbed on the way there. 

She looked at me, almost on the verge of bursting into tears again as she saw my t-shirt, “Oh my god… you’ve got his blood all over you now, I’m so sorry.”

This time it was my turn to tell her not to apologise, “Hey, don’t be sorry. Clothes are nowhere near as important as hugs.” 

Clarke spotted Finn’s body where it was laying on the ground, Raven sitting next to it with his head in her lap as she stroked his hair and sobbed. “Go away,” she mumbled as Clarke and I drew near. 

“Raven, I’m sorry,” Clarke spoke slowly, and I could tell how much it pained her to see this. 

“Go away!” Raven stood up and screamed at her. 

She took a deep breath, “I know how hard this must be for you, but I’m leaving with the Grounders and I need you to keep working on the radio.” 

I heard movement behind me and swallowed a gasp as two of the Grounders began to wrap the body and pick it up. The second Raven noticed she lunged at them, “What are you doing? What are you doing?”

Clarke grabbed her arm to stop her from attacking them, “They need to take him now.”

“Like hell they do!” Raven screamed, throwing Clarke off her, “Get off!” 

“Give us a minute,” I whispered to the Grounder nearest to me before turning to my friends. “Raven—”

She turned to Clarke, horrified, “You agreed to this?”

“We’re taking him back to the village where the massacre took place, there’s a death ritual. It’s the only way to get our people out of Mount Weather,” Clarke explained. 

“Then I’m coming too,” Raven decided. “And— don’t worry— I’ll bring your damn radio.” She stormed off, leaving us standing in the cold next to Finn’s body. 

Clarke’s eyes filled with tears as she watched them take him away, and I gave her one final squeeze before running after Raven. 

~

The hug was worth it. But the blood was harder to get out than I thought. I scrubbed my shirt so many times that my hands were red and blotchy when I had finished and the blood was _still_ there. You’d think after all the people I’d brutally murdered I’d know how to get blood out of clothing. _Damn, real cheerful, Alyssa._ I pulled the wet t-shirt back on over my head and began a search for another one. 

Without even bothering to wring the t-shirt half-dry, I walked through the corridors of Alpha Station, trying to remember where they used to keep the lost and found. It was… somewhere near a big-ass window, if my memory is alright. _Great, that narrows it down_. I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose and stopping for a breather before continuing my search. It wasn’t that long until we were supposed to leave for Tondc, the village where the massacre occurred, so I didn’t exactly have that much time. 

“Alyssa? What the hell happened?” Bellamy called out to me from the other end of the hallway. I stopped to let him catch up to me before explaining. 

“Blood’s not mine. Hugged Clarke. Can’t get rid of it. Need new shirt.” My thoughts came out in fits and starts, only just making sense. 

He nodded, understanding me completely. “Come on, I know where I can find you one— it’s not going to fit though.” 

“Yes please. Don’t care,” I whispered, following him through the Ark. He disappeared into a room and returned holding a black t-shirt that was slightly battered and had three small holes near the neckline, but even though it was at least four sizes too big it was perfect. 

“Go in there and change, I’ll wait outside,” he held the door open and I walked inside. 

I dropped my jacket on the floor, wincing at the large thud it made thanks to all the knives. That was definitely going to take some rearranging while we were on the move. I pulled on the shirt and tied the extra material in a knot at the side, before emptying the jacket and pulling it back on. I stuffed half of the knives in the outside pockets, but with the time we had before leaving slowly diminishing, I decided to fix the rest on the way. 

Don’t ask me how, but I managed to open the door with my foot, five extra knives balanced precariously in my arms. Bellamy’s eyebrows shot up when he saw me and held out his hands so that I could pile them into them. The moment he spotted more knives sticking out of my pockets, his eyebrows managed to rise even higher— something I wasn’t even sure was possible until now. “ _This_ is several?” 

“God no, this is just what I had to take out of the jacket to get changed,” I replied, taking them off him one at a time and putting them in pre-arranged places. “Quick, we need to join the others.” I set off at a jog with him slightly behind, a look of bewilderment mixed with humour on his face. 

We met the others as they left, walking just behind Clarke all the way to Tondc. She looked out into the forest at the side as we walked, almost as if she’d seen a ghost and I decided it was time to check-in. “Hey, you okay?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“You did the right thing,” Bellamy tried to comfort her. 

Clarke sighed, “Now I get to live with it.” She looked at him as he threw a glance over his shoulder to the Grounders bringing up the rear. “You still think this truce is a bad idea, don’t you?”

“I think we’re wasting time with politics, while our friends are in trouble,” he replied.

“We need their army to get to Mount Weather and you know it,” said Clarke. 

“Their army has been getting their ass kicked by Mount Weather forever though,” I shrugged. “We’d do better off with someone on the inside.” 

“Someone to be our eyes and ears,” Bellamy nodded.

Clarke seemed to consider it before shaking her head decidedly, “Forget it. It’s too dangerous.” 

“Clarke, if you can make it out, I can make it in,” he persisted. 

“You’d need someone to watch your back,” I commented. 

Clarke shook her head again, this time more finally. “I said no.” 

“Since I don’t take orders from you, I’m gonna need a better reason,” Bellamy continued to trudge onwards and not make eye contact with her. 

“I can’t lose you too, okay?” She whispered, and we fell silent for the rest of the walk. 

I tried not to laugh when we got there. Now wasn’t the time for humour, but I couldn't help but smile as I noticed the sign that had to have given the village its name. “Tondc.” I was too distracted to see it the first time around, but I realised exactly where it got its name from. Tondc came from “Ton” and “DC”, the only visible letters left on the sign formerly describing _Washington DC_. The little things, that’s why I paid attention in class for so many years. 

I noticed Bellamy and Abby tense up as Clarke began to set up her things directly between the Grounders and the ‘Skaikru’ as I have heard us not-so-affectionately been called by the Grounders. I made my way over to Clarke once I had finished looking at the sign, sitting down next to her and unpacking my own things with a small smile. 

Bellamy came over, visibly on edge. “It’s safer on our side,” he prompted, sending a glance towards Abby. 

“We have to trust them, there are no more sides,” Clarke replied, and I found myself agreeing. Alliances are built on trust, right? Or at least a mutual need for the other’s non-violent existence, one or the other. She lay down to sleep facing the Grounders, and as I lay down next to her I did the same. Trust… is a work in progress, but I have enough knives to protect my friends if necessary.

Sighing, Bellamy put his stuff down next to us, noticeably between Clarke and I and the Grounders. He put his back to us, and I could tell that he wasn’t sleeping, probably not at all tonight. He was too busy keeping an eye on them instead. Clarke jerked awake next to me and I turned over to face her and put a hand on her arm reassuringly. She smiled and drifted off back to sleep, leaving me on my back looking up at the stars. 

I closed my eyes but sleep refused to come so after a while I decided to amuse myself instead. “Hey, Bellamy?” I prodded him in the back and he groaned. “I know you’re awake. You’re doing that thing you do where you keep watch instead of sleeping.”

He sighed and rolled over to face me, using his jacket as a pillow. “You caught me. What’s up?” 

“Can’t sleep. Bored,” I replied. “Entertain me?”

Bellamy laughed, flopping backwards lightly so that he was flat on his back. “How am I supposed to do that?” 

“I don’t know, talk?” I rolled my eyes, smiling. 

“We could play a game?” He suggested. 

I shrugged, “Like truth or dare?” 

“We are not doing dares right now. It’d go horribly wrong,” Bellamy reminded me. 

“Almost everything I do is likely to go horribly wrong. That’s the best part! I literally once jumped out of a tree to stab someone. That could’ve gone horribly, but it  _ didn’t. _ Truth or truth instead?”

“You jumped out of— you know what? Not gonna question it. Okay, truth. Ask away,” he shook his head in disbelief, laughing. 

I paused, trying to think of a good question. “What subject were you best at back on the Ark?” 

“History. Then Earth Skills.”

“That's not surprising at all.” I laughed, “Ask me something. But it can’t be ‘how many is several?’ because I am taking that to my grave.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Of course you are. Have you ever stolen anything?” 

“Is that even a question? Half of these knives did  _ not _ start out as mine. What Earth thing have you always wanted to do?” 

“Driving. Or swimming. On a scale of one to ten, how competitive are you?” 

I grinned, “Eleven.” 

“Should’ve guessed.”

“If we lived on earth before the bombs, what job would you have?” I propped myself up on one arm, turning to face him. 

Bellamy chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment. “Maybe a teacher, or a writer. You?” 

“Never thought about it. Probably wouldn’t be good at anything. Maybe I’d be a decent bartender, my dad  _ did _ teach me to mix drinks. Now that I think about it, that’s the only thing he  _ did _ teach me. Everything else I know I’ve taught myself, I’m a pretty quick learner. Maybe I would’ve learnt an instrument if I could. Would you teach history?” I changed the subject, wary of how it was leaning in the direction of uncharted waters. 

“Yeah, I think so.” He picked up on the redirect of the conversation and didn’t question it. “What instrument would you learn?” 

“If I had the chance? All of them. Doubt I’d be able to decide.” I pulled a face. “Apart from like… the bagpipes. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to master the bagpipes, and the noise would really piss me off every time I tried to practice.”

He let out a surprised laugh, like he hadn’t been planning on doing it but it had slipped out before he could stop himself. “That’s… yeah, I can see that happening.” 

~

The next day, we fully entered the village for the ceremony. Everyone was forced to stop and discard their weapons before entering. I sighed, throwing a glance at Bellamy who tried to hide his smile. “Don’t. Count.” I narrowed my eyes at him before turning back to the Grounder carrying the bucket for the weapons and dropped it at my feet, “We may be here a while,” I warned him, placing my gun in it first before removing my knives one at a time.

It was no secret that I carried a more than should be possible amount of knives on my person at all times, and even Clarke couldn’t stop herself from having a small smile as I stood there two minutes later, still taking knives out of various places. Octavia appeared, opening her mouth to most likely tell me to hurry up, but I held up one finger in response to give myself another minute, throwing down two more knives into the now entirely full weapons basket. Most, if not _all_ of its occupants were mine. I have no regrets. 

Once we had finished, one of the Grounders had given the ‘all clear’, or at least that’s what I hoped he’d said. We walked in and everyone in the village immediately started to chant, and I knew they certainly weren’t praising us. It sounded a lot like what could be the Grounder equivalent of ‘go float yourselves’. “What are they saying?” I hissed to Lincoln. 

“Death to Skaikru,” he replied nonchalantly. 

Yeah, sounds about right. I also caught a couple of chants of “ _jus drein jus daun_ ,” which I assumed translated to the ‘blood must have blood’ saying which continued to be thrown around both in English and in their language. 

One of the Grounders stood in their way, and I wasn’t sure what he was saying but I heard something that sounded similar to ‘young one’, so I guessed it could mean child. I instantly felt a pang of guilt, it was likely that one of us had killed this man’s child, either Finn in the massacre or maybe even me during the fight at the dropship. To move him out the way, the Commander’s bodyguard— I think he’s called Gustus— began to punch the other Grounder repeatedly down in the mud. 

Clarke stepped forwards, “Commander, stop him. Please. They’ll blame us for this too,” she whispered. 

After a few more punches, the Commander said something and the assault ceased, another Grounder appeared to carry away the wounded man. She switched to English, allowing us to hear as she announced: “The Sky People march with us now. Anyone who tries to stop that will pay with their life.” 

“Warm welcome,” Bellamy said sarcastically and I snorted, attempting to cover it up with a cough. 

“Could’ve been worse,” I shrugged. “At least no one’s tried to poison us yet.” 

The funeral was surprisingly beautiful, as the Commander began to speak, Lincoln translated for us quietly so that we could understand what was happening. 

_People of Tondc_

_In fire, we cleanse the pain of the past._

She lifted up a torch, about to raise it onto the funeral pyre before she stopped. The Commander hesitated, which was something I’d yet to see her do up until now. She turned to the side, where the rest of the ‘Sky People’ were standing and held it out. “Clarke,” she held it out and there were murmurs of disagreement from the surrounding Grounders, but no one dared to vocalise it loudly enough to be heard by their leader. 

Clarke accepted the torch and touched it to the pyre, watching it as it caught alight. “ _yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” she whispered. _Your fight is over_. 

Raven’s eyes began to fill with tears again and I reached for her, running my hand down her arm until our hands touched so I could squeeze hers comfortingly. She looked at me through the pain and nodded, squeezing me back. 

~

They had set up a large feast for us, and as we trickled into the dining room one by one through the small door, Kane presented the Commander with a gift. Alcohol, of course. “We drink this on special occasions,” he explained. “I believe this qualifies. Just… don’t drink too much of it.”

“Thank you, Marcus of the Sky People,” the Commander nodded at him. 

“You’re welcome, Lexa… kom Trikru,” he replied. _Lexa_ , I had to say… the name definitely suited her. Kane handed over the bottle to Gustus. 

“Clarke,” Lexa asked, “Let’s drink together.” 

“It would be my pleasure,” Clarke replied, taking the cup after Gustus had filled it. He held Lexa’s cup and drank from it to test for poison, which obviously there wouldn’t be, because we are not idiots. Who on earth would try to poison someone _before_ the food? Also because of the alliance. But the _food_ looked delicious. 

Lexa held the chalice in the air, “To those we’ve lost, and to those we shall soon find.” 

It was a momentous occasion, but before the cup had a chance to grace Lexa’s lips, Gustus keeled over next to her and began coughing. _Poison_. Are you kidding me? Bellamy leant over and whacked the cup out of Clarke’s hands, and I had to hide my laugh. It’s not like she was going to drink from a poisoned cup, but he _had_ to be dramatic about it. 

Indra drew her weapon, “It was the Sky People!” 

“Whoa there, no way,” I put my hand out. “Look, we’re not idiots. Why the hell would we try to poison her after all we’d done to form this alliance? We need both of our armies for Mount Weather, it wouldn’t make sense.” 

Bellamy stepped in front of us protectively as Clarke tried to get through, “This wasn’t us, you have to know this wasn’t us!” She pleaded.

More Grounders stood up and began to pat us down for vials. One of them grabbed me and twisted my arm as he felt through my pockets, before pulling something out of the back of my jacket. _Uh oh_ … My emergency knife. Something that I probably should’ve put in the weapons basket with the others. I laughed nervously, “Would you believe I forgot it was there?” I tried, but the Grounder glared at me. 

Someone behind me called out to the Commander, and when I turned around I realised he had just pulled a small vial out of Raven’s jacket. “That’s not mine! It’s not mine, I swear! He put it there when he searched me,” she accused him. 

“No sky person leaves this room,” Lexa ordered, storming out with her guards in tow. 

_Okay, we’re screwed._

The Grounders locked the door behind us, and we sat down defeated, trying to figure out our next move. I watched as Clarke stood up to talk to Raven, and I knew it wasn’t going to end well. I turned in my chair, watching the scene unfold. “Raven, I need to know the truth.” 

“I’d step back if I was you,” Raven spat back her answer.

“Look, you wanted me to kill Lexa yesterday. If you tried to poison her, I need to know.” Clarke took a step forward, but she was pushed back as Raven swung her fist, connecting it with the side of her face. _Oh damn_. Abby began to rush over, and I followed her and stood between them. 

“You’re the only murderer here,” Raven whispered accusingly. 

I rolled my eyes, trying to diffuse the situation. “Hi, I don’t believe we met, I’m Alyssa and I’m the original murderer in the group, so you can stop throwing that word around like it means something and remember that we’ve _all_ done things, okay?” 

Clarke looked past me and Raven, staring at a spot in the corner. I turned to look but there wasn’t anyone there, which made me all the more surprised when they whispered into the empty air, “Leave me alone. You gave me no choice. Why did you turn yourself in?” She realised we were all watching her and spun away, pulling a chair into the far corner and sitting in it. After a few moments of silence, Abby followed her and knelt down in front of her daughter. Their conversation was quiet, but whatever Abby said seemed to have struck a chord because Clarke shot upright, tears in her eyes. “What I did to Finn was nothing like what you did to him! I was protecting everyone, I didn’t have a choice. You did! You turned him in! You knew what would happen.” She walked away, ignoring her mother as she called after her. 

I walked over to the other corner towards a side door, which was also locked. Bellamy was trying to look for a way around it, and Raven kept muttering to herself “We have to get out of here,” over and over again. 

“Anyone know how to pick a lock with a knife?” I knew it was a feeble suggestion, but Raven seemed to mull it over slightly. 

“I could try, too bad we don’t have a knife though, or something small to use alongside it.”

I smiled, thinking of Monty as I replied, “Ye of little faith,” and produced my _backup_ emergency knife and a small hairpin. Before we had a chance to test it, the sound of keys in the lock of the main door forced me to hide the knife up my sleeve and put the hairpin in my braid. I stepped in front of Raven protectively as they came in, and Bellamy did the same in front of me, right after he shot me a look that was the epitome of _‘don’t do anything stupid’_. 

Bellamy tried to reason with them as one of the guards came to take Raven outside, “She didn’t poison anyone.” 

“I argued for all of you to die, but the Commander is merciful. She wants only one,” Indra replied with a slight disappointment. 

“She’s innocent!” I could feel the knife in my sleeve and it would be a quick and easy access if things went south— which looked like it was about to happen. 

Indra stepped forward and whispered callously, “They move. They bleed.” 

Two of the other guards grabbed Raven by the arms and tried to haul her out the room. I raised my hand, ready to use the knife at even the smallest indicator, but Clarke locked eyes with me and shook her head, even as Raven was taken out of the room. 

“The rest of you are free,” Indra gestured to the door. “When she is dead, so is the alliance. You should run.” 

They tied Raven to a stake outside, not unlike the one they had used for Finn. They had taken off her jacket so she was standing there in her t-shirt and jeans, arms bound above her head as she tried to plead her case. “I didn’t do it, how is that justice?” 

“We have to do something,” I made to move forwards but Kane pulled me back. 

“Wait. We can’t.” 

Raven cried out as the first place carved a line in the underside of her arm, blood dripping from the fresh wound with a steady trickle. Indra stepped forwards and lifted up her t-shirt, watching my friend scream in agony as she dragged her blade across her torso. Each villager raked lines across her arms and stomach and Raven bled through her shirt, tears falling from her eyes and mixing with her blood. 

Clarke appeared from the dining room, walking with more determination than I’d ever seen. “You’ll get yourself killed,” Bellamy hissed, but she moved past him and made a beeline for the Commander, who stopped to let her pass. We followed her as she moved to talk to Lexa.

“One of your people tried to kill you, Lexa, not one of mine,” Clarke accused. “I can prove it.” 

Indra’s hand moved towards her weapon at the same time as my hand rested on mine. “You should’ve run,” she looked at us, but I held my ground with a glare. 

Clarke took the bottle from whoever was holding it and uncorked it, tipping it back and emptying at least a third of the contents into her mouth and swallowing. I held my breath, but nothing happened, because Clarke was right. _None of us poisoned her_. If the poison wasn’t in the bottle…

“Explain.” 

“The poison wasn’t in the bottle. It was in the cup,” Clarke answered. I watched as Gustus tried to hiss advice at his Commander from the sideline, but she paid him no attention. 

Bellamy’s brow creased, and he looked up at Gustus. “It was you. He tested the cup. He searched Raven. It was him.” 

“Gustus would never harm me,” Lexa replied, but I could see the surprise on her face. 

“You weren’t the target. The alliance was,” Bellamy finished. 

Clarke pleaded with Lexa, “We didn’t do it, and you know it.” 

Gustus looked at his leader, switching to English before speaking. “This alliance would have cost you your life, Heda.” His confession caused an eruption of murmurs from the crowd. “I could not let that happen.” 

“This treachery will cost you yours,” Lexa replied, before speaking their language and Gustus was grabbed by two other Grounders to be strung up on the stake. We ran to Raven and instead of wasting time fumbling with the ropes, I sliced straight through them, letting Bellamy catch her as Raven stumbled from the post. 

Abby wrapped her wounds before putting a blanket around her shoulders, while Raven watched in horror as the Grounders of the village began doing the same thing that they had been doing to her to Gustus. “This would’ve been Finn,” she whispered, giving a quick glance to Clarke. Lexa drew her blade and finished him, slowly piercing the sword through his heart. _“Yu gonplei ste odon._ ” 

~

We sat around the campfire later that evening, exhausted from the events of the day. Lincoln spun a twig between his fingers, deep in thought, before dropping it to the ground and looking at Bellamy. “How did you know it was Gustus?” 

“He’d do anything for her,” he replied. “To protect her. Just makes sense.”

Octavia picked up Lincoln’s twig from the ground, using it to draw in the earth. “Look at the thanks he got.” 

Before I could input, Raven scrambled out of the tent and called out to us. “Guys! Listen to this,” she held out the radio and we fell silent to listen. 

_This is Jasper Jordan. We need help. Forty-seven of us are trapped inside Mount Weather. They need our blood or they would be dead. We don’t know how much time we have left. Please hurry._

The message repeated, which meant that it was on a loop and we wouldn’t be able to contact them yet. “We need to do this now,” I whispered.

“We’ve got the alliance, now it’s time to use it,” Bellamy agreed.

Clarke hesitated, “First, we need an inside man. You were right, without someone on the inside to lower their defences, turn off the acid fog, an army is useless. You should go.” 

“I thought you hated that plan, that I would get myself killed,” he looked at her curiously, probably wondering why the change of heart. 

“I was being weak. It’s worth the risk,” she nodded. “My map of Mount Weather,” Clarke handed it over. “Find a way to get on the radio and talk to us. Good luck.”

“Bell, how are you going to—” Octavia began, but she was cut off by Lincoln. 

He stood up, “I can get you through the tunnels.”

She seemed quietly outraged, “He can’t go back there, not yet.” 

Raven nodded to her tent and spoke to Bellamy, “Let me show you what to look for.” He agreed, and they disappeared. With Clarke gone to talk to Lexa, Bellamy and Raven working on a plan, and Octavia and Lincoln having a private conversation, I was left alone by the campfire. Lying on my back, I looked up at the stars and wondered if our plan was going to work. And if it did, at what cost? Bellamy would be going in almost blind, if they’re sending him in the harvest route, he wouldn’t be able to take any weapons and there’s a large chance he could end up getting himself killed. Jasper could’ve made that message ages ago and it could’ve only just gotten through— how do we even know they’re still alive? 

How do we know it’s even going to work?


	10. Be Careful, Don't Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nice, we'll make a gunner out of you yet."

Bellamy and Lincoln left early in the morning. They had a simple plan: Lincoln would sneak Bellamy through the tunnels and once the door was open for collection he’d kill everyone so that Bellamy could sneak inside. There was a quick goodbye involving a few brief hugs. “Be careful, don’t die,” I whispered, hugging him goodbye. 

“May we meet again,” he replied. 

“We fucking better.” 

Two hours later, the Grounder army arrived at Camp Jaha. Kane led them into a large open area before giving a classic speech about us not having a lot in common except the same goal and the same enemy. I shared a look with Murphy, who was leaning against the wall on the other side of the room and we both fake yawned, rolling our eyes. 

I noticed a man approach Murphy out of the corner of my eye and I sighed, a hand resting on my closest knife. _Don’t antagonise him, don’t antagonise him, don’t—_ the Grounder knocked the cup out of Murphy’s hands and received a shove in return, the man’s hand flying towards his belt before remembering he had been forced to ditch his weapon outside. Kane gave Murphy a cold stare, “Mr Murphy, apologise to that man.” 

“For what? He was the one who came at me—”

“Two days' work detail.”

“Work detail? I just told you I didn’t do—” he protested, but Kane refused to listen.

“Care to make it three?” 

I winced, watching in silence as Murphy turned to leave. The Grounder muttered something under his breath, and I couldn’t hear what it was but it must have struck a chord before Murphy spun back around and punched the man in the face, causing the room to descend into chaos. 

I slid through the crowd, ducking under and reappearing next to Murphy, “Hey.” 

"Hey."

“Murphy, back off! Murphy, stop!” Kane called out. 

Octavia appeared nearby, pushing another member of Skaikru and Trikru apart, “Knock it off!” 

I planted a kick into someone’s chest and used it to push myself backwards, landing into someone else. I chanced a quick look at Murphy next to me as he ducked a punch from one of the other Grounders. 

He laughed, “So the alliance is going well…” 

~

Kane managed to break up the fight somehow, and turned it into something more productive. _Outdoor sparring_. Murphy disappeared to carry out Kane’s promised work detail, and annoyingly left me to suffer the constant “isn’t that gun a bit big for you?” jeers from the rest of The Guard alone. 

“Nice gun,” I heard someone speak behind me and I laughed. 

“It won’t look so nice shoved up your ass.”

“Ouch, I come in peace, do you?”

I turned around and realised it was a girl around my age, and she seemed genuinely interested. She was slightly taller than me, and had light brown hair that curled in whisps on her forehead, sitting just above the scratched frames of her glasses. 

“Sorry, let’s just say I’m tired of all the testosterone-fuelled jokes about how competent I am with a gun,” I laughed, rubbing the back of my head. 

“Ah, I get it. I’m Astrid, and according to—” she paused to gesture vaguely in the direction of the rest of the camp— “everyone over there, I’m too young and too fragile to be of any use during a war.” 

“There’s plenty of other ways to be useful that don’t involve guns,” I shrugged, “But none of them are anywhere near as fun.” 

Astrid looked away to hide the small smile that spread across her face. “So how good _are_ you?” 

“To put it blatantly, I’m one of the hundred— I wouldn't have lived this long if I wasn’t at least half-decent.” I cocked the gun and aimed it at the wooden target a couple hundred metres in front of me, lining up the shot before firing and hitting a fraction of a millimetre to the right of the bullseye square that had been carved into it

She laughed, “You’re a survivor, I like that. Impressive shot, but is your teaching as good as your aim?” 

“I guess you’ll have to stick around and find out,” I winked, causing her to laugh again. “Here,” I gestured to the target with the gun in my hand, before holding it out to her. She took it and bit her lip in concentration, her brow furrowing as he imitated the stance I had been holding moments earlier. 

“Wait… my eye doesn’t like closing, give me a minute,” Astrid handed me the gun for a second to adjust her hair. When she turned around I burst out laughing, she had put her glasses back on over the top of her hair, which was completely covering one of her eyes. “Better?”

“Brilliant,” I laughed as I handed her back the gun, “Now put your feet slightly further apart… that’s better, and lift it up, try and align these two pins when with the centre when you aim and it’ll increase your accuracy, relax that elbow a bit…” I put my arm around her back and lowered the offending elbow slightly, keeping her a bit more balanced. “Take a deep breath, hold it for two seconds, squeeze the trigger and then let it out.”

“Got it, breathe, hold, bang.” Astrid took a deep breath before pulling the trigger. The bullet hurtled out of the gun and tore through the target, hitting one of the bottom boxes. “Oh shit! It actually hit it!” 

She seemed so completely shocked that it had actually hit the target the first time that I laughed, rolling my eyes and smiling, “Nice, we’ll make a gunner out of you yet.”

~

I found Raven after lunchtime, having spent the whole morning with Astrid until she could get six out of ten shots to land inside the small square carved into the wooden targets. She was in the workshop, and I slid into the seat next to her to watch her work. The radio with access to the Mount Weather frequency was on one side of her, with the one tuned into Jasper’s signal was on the other. 

“Whatcha working on?” 

“Anything I can get my hands on,” she sighed, putting the small circuit board back down onto the table. “I hate the waiting.” 

I grinned, “Well then you’re in luck, fix it and you can keep it,” I pulled the small MP3 that I’d taken from the garage out of my jacket and placed it on the table in front of her. 

“Now _this_ is something I can do,” she grabbed a small tool and used it to pry open the small device while I walked towards the small window on the side of the workshop. 

“Huh, I can see everyone training from here,” I laughed, watching some of the newer shooter’s bullets graze the side of the targets.

Raven looked up, a small smile teasing her lips, “You know what else I could see out that window earlier? It’s high quality comedy.” 

“What?” 

“That girl flirting with you and you being completely and utterly _clueless_ about it,” she laughed, putting her head down and peering into the circuitry of the MP3. “It’s been making me laugh on and off all morning.” 

I turned away from the window, shaking my head. “No way, Astrid was not flirting with me. She just asked me to show her how to shoot,” I explained. 

“Sure, and getting you to wrap your arms around her to show her the stance, making you laugh, spending all morning with you… I can identify flirting when I see it, and you’re definitely flirting back— you don’t even realise it,” Raven rolled her eyes, “Honestly, you should go for it, she’s cute.” 

“What— we were _not_ flirting, I was _not_ flirting… I don’t even know how to flirt!” I spluttered, trying to regain composure. “Besides, we’re declaring war on Mount Weather soon— it’s not exactly the time for dating.” 

Raven shrugged, “It’s not like we’ve had the best luck while on earth. Chances are, there isn’t going to be a better time. Might as well go for it.” 

“Says the girl who’s been ignoring her obvious chemistry with Wick ever since we got here…”

She shot me a scowl in return, choosing to ignore my words. A different radio flickered into life and it was our channel this time— the Camp Jaha channel— Clarke was back, and they had brought in a Mount Weather sniper as a hostage. Octavia came in and agreed to stay by the radio as we rushed through to medical to see what was happening. 

“Anything from Bellamy?” was the first thing Clarke asked when she saw us. 

“No,” I shook my head. 

“Then why aren’t you at the radio?” She snapped back, almost sounding desperate.

“Octavia just took my place. How about you back off?” Raven replied, offended.

Jackson put his hand on the suit to remove the sniper’s helmet but Clarke stopped him, “Don’t, it’s the only thing keeping him alive.”

He sighed exasperatedly, “How can we treat a guy if we can’t touch him?” 

“I can rig up some scrubbers in the airlock?” Raven suggested, “Give me twenty minutes.” She disappeared back to engineering and I followed, sitting back down in her seat and relieving Octavia from listening to the radio so that she could go and train with Indra.

After about two hours or so, long after Raven had finished with the airlock, Clarke came into the workshop where we were sitting. I hadn’t moved, still listening to the radio, and Raven had been working on the MP3 in the meantime for something to do. She came in and handed Raven a small device, “Can you make more of these?”

Raven turned it on and the device turned blue, emitting a high pitched shriek. “Yeah. I can totally replicate this frequency.” 

“Good,” Clarke continued to pace the workshop, “If we can neutralise the Reapers then the tunnels become an option. Get on it.” 

“You don’t need to give me orders, Clarke. I got this,” Raven reassured her. 

Before Clarke could reply, Octavia burst in. “Any word from Bellamy?”

“Nothing yet,” I sighed. 

She faltered, “Lincoln’s still missing too. He should be back by now.” 

Clarke reached out and put a hand on Octavia’s arm, “They’ll be okay.” 

“They better be,” Raven muttered. “Your whole plan rests on Bellamy getting in.” 

“He will,” I replied without a shadow of a doubt. “If anyone can do it, it’s him.” 

Clarke’s name rang out over the Ark’s comms system, calling her and Kane to the south airlock, most likely something to do with the Emerson sniper guy she’d taken hostage. “We’ll finish this later,” she announced before running out the room. 

She returned ten minutes later with a grave expression on her face, “We’re too late. They’re already bleeding them. It’s over.” 

Raven stood up, her chair scraping across the ground, I jumped, half lost in my own thoughts up until the sound pierced my ears. “No. You don’t get to give up, Clarke. You killed Finn and I didn’t give up. I’m building a damn tone generator. You do your job.”

“What is my job?” Clarke shouted back.

“I don’t know! To come up with something,” Raven shot back.

I tensed. If Clarke was out of options, then we were all dead. If Clarke couldn’t— 

Bellamy’s voice dragged me from my thoughts. And then it hit me. _Bellamy’s voice_. I stood up, scrambling for the radio. “Camp Jaha, this is Mount Weather. Can anyone read me?” _Holy crap._

I grabbed the radio, “Bellamy?” 

“Alyssa?” 

“Are you alright?” I whispered into the radio. 

“I’m fine, but that’s it for the good news,” I let out the breath I barely realised I’d been holding. “We have to talk fast. Something has changed. Jasper, Monty, everyone, they just locked them in the dorm.” 

I handed the receiver over to Clarke as I could tell she was eager to speak. “But they’re alive? All of them?” 

“I think so, for now. Maya says that they’re already using their blood, and things are gonna get ugly in here real fast.” 

Clarke paused, “Maya’s with you?” 

“She helped me escape. If not for her, I’d be dead,” he replied. 

I reached over spoke into the radio, “I’m just gonna add to the plan, please tell Maya she’s a fucking legend. What else is happening?” 

“Deal. But to be serious, there are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn’t kill everyone. Please tell me we have one,” he sounded desperate. 

Clarke sighed, “I hear you, but we can’t do anything until you disable the acid fog. Raven’s gonna help you.” 

“Okay, what else?”

“You have to figure out a way to free the Grounder prisoners,” Clarke told him. “There’s a whole army inside that mountain, and they don’t even realise it.” 

“Trojan horse, good plan.” 

“What does Maya think?” She asked, “Is it doable?”

“She says it’s not a problem. Look, if I’m gonna pull this off, I need you to buy me some time. It won’t be long before they realise I don’t belong here. And if that happens—” 

“That can’t happen,” Clarke cut him off. “I’ll come up with something.” 

“Come up with it quick.”

“Copy that. And, Bellamy…” 

“Yeah?”

“You came through. We knew you would.” 

“All I’ve done so far is not get killed,” he replied, causing me to roll my eyes.

I leant in and Clarke turned the mic on for me. “For the love of _god_ , Bellamy Blake. _Keep doing that_ ,” I whispered through the radio before handing it over to Raven. “You’re up.” Clarke began to leave and I turned around, “What are you gonna do?” 

“I’m going to keep them looking outside instead of in,” she smiled like someone who had just had a world-saving idea, which she had. I followed her out of the door, leaving Raven and Bellamy to discuss the acid fog for a bit. 

“So, what’s the plan?” 


	11. I Wanna Fight, But I Can't Contend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Where are you going?"
> 
> "To make sure no one gets blown up."

Raven had been going back and forth between the tone generators and her sketches of the dam for hours. When Clarke came in, it wasn’t hard for me to see that she wasn’t entirely on board. It had been three hours exactly since Bellamy last radioed, and we had agreed that he should check in every three hours on the dot. I could feel my hands make and unmake fists repeatedly, trying to distract myself every second that went by past the check-in time. _He’s fine. He’s fine. He’s just been delayed, that’s all._ There were small crimson crescents on my palms where the nails had broken through the skin in previous more tense situations. The bandages over the stitches from the rope burn had been taken off a while ago, and I could see the scabs and scars as they formed. 

“Why are you focusing on the dam?” Clarke asked Raven. “I told you, acid fog was our priority.” 

“Until Bellamy gets eyes on their dispersal system, there’s only so much I can do,” Raven explained. 

“Tell us about the dam,” I stood up and took a closer look at her detailed drawings of the workings of the dam. “Can we cut off their power?” 

Raven paced back and forth between her two work stations. “Maybe. I’m still playing with a few things,” she replied. 

Clarke picked up one of the tone generators, “How many of these have you made?” 

“Only two so far but—” 

“Two?” Clarke snapped, “That’s not enough. There will be Reapers everywhere.” 

Raven seemed to be slowly losing her patience as she replied, “High-frequency tone generators don’t grow on trees, Clarke. Wick is scrounging for parts!”

“Raven, I am about to leave for Tondc. Where Lexa and the heads of all twelve Grounder clans are waiting for me to tell them we’re a go. Only we’re not a go, because they still have acid fog, and we only have two tone generators!” 

“Hey,” Raven softened, reaching out to comfort Clarke, “We’ll be ready. We will.”

Bellamy’s voice echoed through the radio and I practically jumped out of my seat trying to get to it. “Ark Station, do you read me? Anybody there?”

“Bellamy, you’re late. Every three hours _means_ every three hours,” I sighed, before handing the radio over to Raven. 

“Have you found the source of the acid fog?” 

“No. That’s gonna have to wait.”

Clarke grabbed the receiver, “What? No. Nothing is more important than that.” 

“Our friends are, they’ve started taking them from the dorm, one at a time every few hours.” 

“Taking them where?” I asked, my free hand forming a fist at my side. 

“I don’t know,” he answered. “We tried to follow them, but they went to a classified level. Maya borrowed the schematics of the vent system from her boss, and I’m still trying to find a way in. I have the walkie and earbud that Raven asked for.”

I turned to her and she explained, “I’m gonna make him mobile so that he can talk to us from anywhere.” I let out a breath, at least this meant he wouldn’t miss another check-in.

“Bellamy, you have to find them,” Clarke told him.

“That’s the plan.” 

She paused, “If you don’t, all of this is for nothing.”

“Yeah.” 

Clarke handed Raven the radio and began to head out the room, “I’ll be right back.” 

“I thought you were heading to Tondc?” Raven tried to call after her, but the doors closed and Clarke was already too far away to answer. 

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m going for a walk, you don’t need a spare pair of hands anytime soon?”

She shook her head, “Wick’ll be back in a little while, and it’s another three hours before Bellamy should be checking in again. Go get some air,” Raven smiled half-reassuringly before turning around and beginning to talk to him about the fog. “Wait— I almost forgot— I managed to get it to work in the end, here. You can have it, I just liked working on it.” She tossed me the MP3 and I realised I’d almost forgotten about it. 

“Thanks,” I smiled before plugging in the earphones, pressing play, and tucking the music player into my jacket pocket. I knew exactly where I wanted to go.

~

It was too far to go all the way to the dropship, so I hovered just inside the perimeter of the woods. Not too far that I wouldn't be able to get back to Camp Jaha if necessary, but not so close that I could still hear them unless I was perfectly still. There were quite a few songs on it, mostly ranging from the early 2000s, quite a while before the nuclear apocalypse. Each time the song changed I checked the title, adding it to a playlist if it was my taste. 

I wandered about, practising my knife skills with the music in the background. A lot of the songs had similar background music so I hummed along, playing my favourite songs at least three times before moving on. I was on the second listen of _Use Somebody_ by Kings of Leon when I heard footsteps behind me. I spun around, careful not to throw the knife and accidentally end the alliance. 

“Just me,” Astrid laughed. I lowered the knife and let her walk over. 

“Hey. It’s getting a little crazy in there so I thought I’d come and stab some shit, you?” I gave a half-laugh and threw the knife at the nearest tree, watching it stick. 

She nodded, shrugging, “I think you have the right idea.”

“It was so much easier when all we had to worry about were Grounders and not dying, now there’s Mountain Men, alliances, man-made acid fog… Still, I prefer this to being on the Ark.” I groaned.

“You hated life on the Ark _that_ much?” Astrid seemed surprised. 

I shrugged, “Another month and I’d be dead, I was in the SkyBox. Earth may be doing its best to wipe us out, but I think we’re doing alright. Or at least we will be, once the forty-seven are safe.” 

“Are you close to them?” She asked, and I took note of the song changing in my remaining earbud. _Stars_ by ARCADES.

“Sort of, some of them at least. Some of them I haven’t held a conversation with, but since we had that whole ‘surviving together’ thing going on… it’s like a mutual appreciation. Although I am close with Jasper and Monty, and Miller’s alright. And the guys from the hundred who aren’t in Mount Weather— like Clarke, Raven, Murphy, and Bellamy. I know I can count on them.” 

“Sounds nice, like you’ve got a family with them,” Astrid smiled. 

“I hadn’t thought of it like that… but yeah, I think I do,” I smiled back, before pulling out another knife and turning it over in my hands and holding it towards Astrid handle-first. “You want a turn?”

Her eyes widened, “Hell yeah.”

~

Astrid and I were on our way back to the camp when I ran into Clarke heading out on horseback. She was on a mission but I called to her and she stopped briefly. “Where are you going?” 

“To make sure no one gets blown up,” she replied. 

I shot Astrid a glance and she went inside the camp, “I’m in, take me with you.” 

“We don’t have time to get another horse, get on,” she held out a hand and pulled me onto the horse, sitting in front of her. “We don’t have time for much, really.” 

We set off quickly, going through the woods on horseback was a hell of a lot faster than making the trek on foot, and we arrived at Tondc apparently in time. Clarke dismounted and I followed, and we were greeted by Octavia. “Clarke, you made it!” 

“I need to speak with Lexa,” Clarke ignored pleasantries and continued to walk through the village. “It’s urgent.” 

Octavia caught her, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she lied, and I bit my lip. It’s true that we don’t want to start a panic, but having everyone die wasn’t brilliant either. 

“Is Bellamy ready? Did he get the acid fog down?” Octavia asked.

Clarke replied, “He’s working on it.” 

I looked around, trying to see if I could spot anyone from Mount Weather as Lexa appeared and then disappeared with Clarke so that they could talk in private. I glanced around again and Octavia noticed. “Okay, really, what's wrong?” 

“Nothing,” I replied, shifting my gaze. “Just on edge. There are a lot of important people in one place, it would be the perfect time for Mount Weather to try something if they knew about it, that’s all.” I played it off as my usual suspicion, wary of everyone and everything I couldn’t confirm I could trust. If Clarke didn’t evacuate this place soon, I was going to grab Octavia and get out of here.

“You’re right, we should watch the trees,” Octavia nodded, walking towards the treeline. “If they have people in the woods we might be able to find them.” She grabbed another Grounder who must be one of Indra’s soldiers and the three of us began to search the woods.

I knew it was risky, but I couldn’t just let everyone here die without trying something, and I sure as hell couldn’t pretend I didn’t know if everyone got blown up. But if I could save Octavia, then that would be enough. Clarke would have a plan, I’m sure of it. 

She paused, leaving the silence to be filled by the rustling of leaves. “Quiet, there’s someone out there,” she hissed, before drawing her weapon. 

“This one’s mine, Sky Girl,” the Grounder smiled before following the sound of the noise. He disappeared after some scrabbling, and I shared a look with Octavia. She called out the man’s name. 

“Atohl, Atohl?” 

No answer. 

Sighing, and giving one last look back to the camp, Octavia followed the noise. I followed her, slightly grateful for whatever it was. The further away she was from Tondc the better. We emerged into a clearing, holding our breaths to listen for any more noise. I spun a knife between my fingers and nodded at Octavia, as we moved towards a hunched over figure on the ground. We split up, her going around one side, me on the other. 

Without warning, she increased her speed, jumping over a fallen tree with ease and moving without making barely any sound. She ground to a halt, looking up in relief and then horror. “Lincoln? What are you doing?” I emerged from the trees on the other side, keeping close to the ground and edging my way nearer to Lincoln and Octavia. “Get away from him,” Octavia held out her sword, and I realised then what had happened. 

Lincoln had returned to Reaper mode. 

“I said, get away from him!” Octavia kicked Lincoln away from Atohl and he landed on his knees in defeat.

“You don’t understand, I can’t fight it,” he whispered as Octavia returned her blade to its strap on her back. “I betrayed your brother. He’s a prisoner in the mountain because of me.” 

I slid through a gap between two trees and joined them. “Whatever happened between you two doesn’t matter, Bellamy’s fine— we have our inside man.” 

He looked to Octavia for confirmation and she nodded, “I need you to come with me.” He shook his head and tore his eyes away from her, barely able to meet her gaze in shame. She stood up and punched him in the face. “Get knocked down, get back up!” Before saying it again in Trigedasleng, “ _Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim!_ Grounders don’t give up, we _fight._ Either you get up and we fight this, or you crawl away and die alone like a coward. It’s your choice.” 

I was shocked, to put it lightly. This was a side to Octavia that I hadn’t seen, and she looked stronger than ever as she stood up to him. With a sigh, Lincoln got to his feet and looked at her, and she finally smiled. “Let’s go back to the village.” 

Her words snapped me out of the moment, “What?” 

“We should go back to Tondc now.” 

“Maybe we should—” I was cut off by the missile as it hit the village, the force of it throwing us backwards even though we weren’t that close. My ears were ringing and I groaned as I lay on the floor, my hands over my head. I tried to calm down and control the fight, flight or freeze response, unsure of what my brain was telling me as I rolled over and stumbled to my feet. 

Octavia pushed herself up from the floor and so did Lincoln, we shared a look. “You were right, now would be the _perfect_ time for a Mount Weather attack,” she frowned at me, but I started talking before she had time to piece it all together. Octavia was smart, and she wouldn’t be happy if she realised I had known. 

“They’re going to need help, we have to go,” I started the way back through the woods with her and Lincoln hot on my heels. When we got back to the village, it was filled with devastation. _Wow, it has not been a good couple of weeks for Tondc_. 

People were screaming in pain, and the buildings were either completely decimated, or on fire. I tried to block out the cries but it was no use, but I’d need a clear head if I wanted any hope of continuing. Decidedly, I pulled the earphones out of my pocket and put one in my left ear, fumbling in my pocket to click the play button as the solemn piano notes filled my ear.

_Love, I have wounds only you can mend_

_You can mend, oh, oh, oh_

_I guess that’s love, I can’t pretend_

_I can’t pretend, oh, oh, oh_

I wiped the tears from my eyes as the music got to a crescendo, taking in the sight before me. Clarke had done nothing, and now the citizens of Tondc were paying the heavy price.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from the song, "Can't Pretend" by Tom Odell, which is also featured in the show. It's also the song Alyssa is listening to at the end btw if you want to listen along (I think it fits the scene pretty well)


	12. Picking Us Off, One By One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Make it a party, I've got a bone to pick with this asshole."

We climbed over the wreckage, it was unstable, but we were careful. Lincoln lifted up a large part of a fallen wall and called out for help. “It’s Indra! She’s still alive!” Abby ran over and Octavia followed, I was right behind them but at a slower pace. There was an annoying sound just in earshot, and I couldn’t place exactly where it was coming from. 

Lincoln pulled Indra from the wreckage and she screamed at him, getting to her feet and drawing her weapon. We looked around at the massacre, far worse than anything we could’ve expected— I could’ve expected. I desperately hoped that wherever Clarke was, she’d made the right decision. A gunshot rang out and I flattened myself against the ground. “Sniper! Get down!” One of the shots hit Indra and she collapsed, giving Lincoln barely enough time to drag her out of the way before the next shot was fired. 

Someone was shooting at us, and I made it my mission to make sure that no one else was going to die on my watch apart from them. Nyko ran and skidded down out of the way behind a piece of the wreckage, I made a break for it and ducked down behind Octavia, the next shot missing me by a measurement too close for my liking. “We’re trapped, what’s the plan?” I whispered to her. The Grounder next to us heard and he glared at us.

“I say we use one of the Sky Girls to draw out their fire,” he sneered.

“You got a problem, big guy? Last time I checked we’re on the same side,” I shot back, narrowing my eyes at him. 

“You are the bringers of death,” he snarled. 

_Okay, I was starting to see his point._

I spotted Abby out of the corner of my eye, trying to move some of the rubble on her own. She ducked as another shot fired, only just missing it. “We need to get to Abby, if someone’s down there and she’s trying to help them then she can’t do it alone. We have to figure out where the shots are coming from to pinpoint the sniper’s location.” 

“If we can find the shooter, we can stop them… but not if we can’t move.” Octavia nodded.

I turned my head at the sound of more shots as Lincoln made a break for it with Indra over his shoulders. He weaved to dodge the bullets and make his target harder to aim at and while this was happening I realised Abby had used their distraction to slide through the rubble. I followed Octavia and Lincoln as they laid Indra down to tend to her bullet wound. She moaned in pain.

“I’m going for the shooter,” Lincoln announced quietly to the small group. “I’ll sound the horn when it’s done.” 

Without a moment’s hesitation, Octavia announced, “I’m going with you.” 

“No, Nyko needs you here,” Lincoln shook his head at her.

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” She whispered.

“ _Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim_ ,” he replied. _Get knocked down, get back up._

I sighed, “Make it a party, I’ve got a bone to pick with this asshole.” 

Lincoln nodded and we began to slowly make our way past the large amounts of debris that were the only thing between us and the shooter. I spared one glance back to see Octavia applying pressure to Indra’s wound. Another shot fired out and my head whipped around. Another shot. Another Grounder dead. I scrambled over a piece of debris and ducked down, out of the way of the gunfire. I held my arm out, stopping Lincoln in his tracks as I peered around a tree. “There’s someone here.” 

“Is it the shooter?” 

It was dark, but I managed to make out the two figures. No, it wasn’t the shooter, but yes— they did have a gun. But… not one that we needed to worry about, since under closer inspection I realised it was Clarke. “Clarke,” I hissed. “Don’t shoot, it’s me and Lincoln.” 

She lowered her gun as we approached, and I realised what an awkward situation this was about to become. Lincoln stepped forwards, trying to figure out what had happened. “Clarke? Commander? What… Octavia said you were both—” 

“You’ve seen Octavia?” Clarke asked, relieved.

“She’s alive, all three of us weren’t in the village when it hit,” I answered, and she gave me a quick but barely noticeable nod in thanks. “The few that survived the explosion are being pinned down by that bloody sniper.”

“That’s why we’re here,” Lincoln finished. 

More gunshots rang out and Clarke and Lexa disappeared to get to higher ground, most likely to try and spot the shooter. We followed quickly, walking through the night until morning to find whoever had been shooting at our friends. We came out into a clearing, and Lexa paused to look at the smoke that was coming from the wreckage of what once was Tondc. A bullet bounced off a large boulder as we walked behind it, barely missing Lexa. 

“So much for the element of surprise,” she whispered.

“I’ll draw his fire,” Lincoln decided.

“No. I will,” Clarke stood up and began shooting towards where the fire was coming from, giving us the opportunity to make a run for it. 

The shots from both sides stopped, and there was a pause before I saw the man emerge, heavily camouflaged in mud and grass. He raised his gun and aimed for the rock when Lincoln vaulted over a fallen tree and attacked him. The man fought back, but Lincoln had the upper hand and he raised his dagger to plunge it through the man without hesitation. 

He produced a tone generator, turning it on and Lincoln faltered, he began to slowly fall to the ground and I was up instantly, but not before the sniper could hold his gun to Lincoln’s throat and haul him to his feet to draw out Clarke and Lexa. “Drop the weapon,” he told her, but Clarke’s aim stayed steady.

“Just let him kill me, then take him out,” Lincoln shouted at her. “Clarke, please. Your people need you.” 

She took a deep breath. “You are my people.” Before shooting through the edge of Lincoln’s arm and into the sniper’s heart. It was _incredibly_ badass. The man coughed and staggered to the ground, where he lay motionless as Lincoln pulled himself to his feet.

“Good shot,” he breathed slowly, covering his shoulder where the blood was beginning to spread. 

“Blow the horn, we did it and now the others can focus on the injured,” I whispered in relief. 

We arrived back at Tondc moments after reinforcements from the Ark, led by Sinclair. With the added numbers we were able to lift the debris enough to fit people inside to bring out the injured, including Abby and Kane. The moment Lincoln found Octavia they ran to each other and embraced, I couldn’t not smile at how happy they were to see each other. 

Now, we could focus on the war.


	13. Never Let Your Fear Decide Your Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you ever think before you do things?" 
> 
> "I think the problem is that I always think before I do things."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Alyssa makes a lot of stupid decisions, as per usual, and somehow miraculously doesn't get herself killed in the process.

We brought all the injured back to Camp Jaha, and with nothing else of a higher priority, I helped Abby and Jackson take care of them. I went on a break, earbuds in, wandering around the compound. 

_Under a pale blue sky_

_You never felt so cold_

I could see the soldiers practising with their guns against the wooden posts, but I could barely hear the shots over the loud music blaring through my ears. 

_Another sleepless night_

_How could you ever let go?_

On the end post was Astrid, and her aim was slowly improving. I couldn’t help but smile at her progress. She was a lot better at shooting than throwing knives, but we’ve got time for that. 

_How do you recognise_

_The dirty face of gold?_

_Behind that crooked line_

_Where you never knew you’d go_

A large bang sounded behind me and I jumped, it was loud enough to get to me even through the headphones, I turned around to see Raven holding a flare gun, the red streak firing off into the sky. _Bellamy had done it._ “YES!” I screamed, punching the air in triumph and laughing as the song reached its chorus. _We Come Running_ by Youngblood Hawke, and it was perfect. 

_Headed for the open door_

_Tell me what you’re waiting for_

_Look across the great divide_

_Soon they’re gonna hear_

_The sound, the sound, the sound_

_When we come running_

~

I met the army ready to fight. I tied my hair out of the way into a bun at the back of my neck and slid a long thin knife into it to secure it but also for easy access. I was fully stocked with bullets and knives, and I was more eager than ever to get my friends back. Lexa and Clarke wanted to speak to the Skaikru soldiers before we joined their army, and it was only a matter of time before we left for the war. 

“Welcome Sky People, join us,” Lexa welcomed the soldiers into her tent. “Field Commanders, today’s the day we get our people back. The enemy thinks it’s safe behind its doors, but it’s not. When it realises that, it will fight back… hard. We need to be ready.”

She nodded at Clarke, who took over. “This is a rescue mission. We are not here to wipe them out. There are people inside that mountain who have helped us, children who have nothing to do with this war. We kill their soldiers, their leadership if we have to. But we are there to rescue our people. Is that clear? Then let’s begin.”

Clarke walked around the table with the model on. “There are four teams. Two of them— at the dam and in the mine— are moving into position already. The third— inside the mountain— is freeing the Grounder prisoners as we speak. It is our job as the fourth team to keep the eyes of the enemy off them for as long as possible. To do that, we have to be in position at the main door, with our entire army. The mountain men believe the door can’t be opened from the outside, so they leave it unguarded. Only it can be, and thanks to our source on the inside, now we know how. According to Maya, the electromagnetic locking system has one flaw. When the power goes out, it disengages. That’s where Raven’s team comes in. The mountain’s electricity is generated at Philpott Dam. By now, they’ve taken the turbine room. It’s their job to blow the power. Once they do, we blow the lock. There is a catch, a backup generator inside the mountain. If the lock is still functioning when that backup power kicks in, we’ll never get that door open. We’ll never get our people back.”

“How much time do we have until the backup generator kicks in?” Miller’s dad— a member of The Guard— asked. 

“One minute. That’s the window,” Clarke replied.

“Small window,” he sighed. “Why don’t we just take out the backup generator too? Bellamy’s inside, have him do it.” 

“Leaving them without power that long would kill them all. And as I said, that’s not the mission. Besides, we lost contact with Bellamy.”

 _What?_ “What? We did? When?” _And why did nobody tell me?_ I asked, my hand curling into a fist by my side. 

“After we took out the acid fog.” 

Lexa cut in, “Bellamy’s a warrior. He’ll be fine.” 

“As the Commander said,” Clarke continued, “Once the door is open, the shooting will start. And they’ll throw everything they have at us. But that’s what they want. We want them looking at us, because while we’re fighting at the front door, Indra’s team will be escorting the prisoners out the back, right through the Reaper tunnels. Once all our people are free, we’ll sound the retreat. We’ll be back home before Mount Weather even knows they’re gone. And that’s it. That’s the plan.” 

Lexa stepped forwards, “The mountain has cast a shadow over these woods for too long. They’ve hunted us, controlled us, turned us into monsters. That ends today. Thanks to our alliance with the Sky People, the mountain will fall. As Clarke said, we spare the innocent. As for the guilty… _jus drein jus daun._ ” _Blood must have blood_. 

The Grounders began chanting, “ _Jus drein jus daun! Jus drein jus daun!_ ” and surprising myself, I joined in. They decide they want to make my friends bleed, well guess what? Two can play that game. 

And when I play, I play to _win._

~

Clarke stood next to me as we watched them drill a hole in the door, big enough for Raven’s bomb. Once it was in place, all that was left to do was wait for Raven and Wick to cut the power. It was a _long_ wait. Gunshots began to fire and I looked around to find out where it was coming from. Lincoln pinpointed it, “It’s coming from the dam.” 

“They know we’re going for the power,” Clarke cursed under her breath. 

Lexa looked around, “They know we’re going for the door.” 

Lincoln called out orders to some of the Grounders but I had no idea what they were. Monroe still seemed to have faith as she tried to reassure Clarke, “Raven will get it done. She’s one of us.” 

The lights went out and I gave a silent thanks to Raven, I knew she’d come through. “One minute, starting now!” I shouted. 

Clarke held out the detonator to Lexa, “For those we’ve lost.” 

“And those we’ll soon find,” she replied as they pressed the button together. 

There should’ve been an explosion. Needless to say… there wasn’t. “What’s the delay, Clarke?” 

“They’re jamming us, I have to get closer.” Clarke made her way to the front and out from behind the guards, but the moment she did, soldiers from above open-fired. Lincoln pulled her down and out of the way. 

“Forty-five seconds!” Miller’s dad called out. “If I can get there, I can trigger it manually. For Nate, I have to try!” 

Lexa called to her soldiers to create a shield wall to get him to the door. _Thirty seconds_. The shield wall broke from the fire and Lincoln raised his weapon. _Ten seconds._ His fiery arrow hit the target and the bomb exploded, breaking the lock. “When the shooting stops, get through that door!” She told us before disappearing. 

There was shouting up from above where the shooters were, and Lincoln edged his way out from behind the cover, followed by Clarke and then myself. “Lexa did it,” she whispered. “But they’ll be waiting just inside the door.” I levelled my weapon as they moved to open the door, raising my gun as they pulled, opening the door. There was a cheer when it finally came through, and Clarke shouted: “Attack, now!” 

Lexa, however, had other ideas. She ceased the attack, and after a moment or two, people began to come out, wrapped in blankets. 

“They’re surrendering?” 

“Not quite,” Emerson— who had somehow materialised next to Lexa— replied. 

“What did you do?” Clarke whispered in horror.

Lexa’s face portrayed no emotion, “What you would’ve done. Saved my people.” 

“Where are _my_ people,” Clarke asked through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry, Clarke. They weren’t part of the deal.” 

I felt like I’d been shot. Luckily, I hadn’t. But it felt like I had. It wasn’t just the betrayal, it was the fact that she didn’t even seem to care as Emerson walked back into the mountain. I stood there in shock, watching as the prisoners were released in a single file line. 

“What is this?” Lincoln came over.

“The Commander made a deal,” Clarke spat. 

He frowned, “What about the prisoners from the Ark?” 

“They’ll all be killed… but you don’t care, do you?” I shot Lexa a glare, “You care about yourself, and your people.” 

“I do care,” she turned to Clarke, “But I made this choice with my head and not my heart. The duty to protect my people comes first.”

“Please don’t do this,” Clarke stepped towards her. 

“I’m sorry, Clarke.”

Lincoln tried to reason with her, “Commander, not like this. Let us fight.” 

I spoke up, “What happens if something goes wrong? There is no room for error here, Commander. If something happens and they have to revert to their old treatments then they _will_ take your people again and they _will_ make more Reapers.” 

“The deal is done,” Lexa answered blankly, and I turned as the door shut behind us. _No. No… No…_ “Sound the retreat,” she ordered. The Grounder next to her followed her orders and blew on a large horn, I watched in horror as the army began to leave. “You too. All our people withdraw, those were the terms.” 

“They’ll be slaughtered,” Lincoln whispered, “Let me help them.” He tried to fight but was taken down by two other Grounders, who carried him away from the scene. Clarke’s eyes brimmed with tears as she watched our only hope of saving our friends slip away. 

“We will meet again,” Lexa looked at Clarke. 

I sighed, muttering under my breath, “God, I hope not.” Once she had gone, I turned to Clarke. “We need a new plan.”

“The plan doesn’t change, the people do. We’re going in anyway.” 

A smile played on my lips, “I was hoping you’d say that. Mines?”

“Mines.” 

“Alyssa!” I turned around to see Astrid running over. “It’s over, isn’t it?” 

“Not quite,” Clarke replied. 

Astrid looked between me and Clarke before understanding. “You’re going in alone. Sounds about right. Bring them home, okay? Be careful, don’t die.”

I laughed, “Hey, that’s _my_ pep talk!” I put a hand on her shoulder, taking a deep breath. “May we meet again.” 

Clarke turned to go, and I was about to follow when Astrid shouted my name again and I turned back around. “Wait—” She grabbed me, pulling my lips to hers. I gasped, startled, pulling back for air but only out of surprise. Astrid bit her lip, “Shit, I’m sorry if you weren’t into that— I thought— with the war— if I misread—” I cut her off by catching her lips in mine, my arm curving around her back to pull her closer to me. 

“Oh, I was most _definitely_ into that.”

“Good,” she breathed. “One more for luck?” 

“I’ve seen you, you don’t _need_ luck. But I guess I’ll make the allowance,” Astrid grinned, kissing me once more. I felt my lips break into a smile as I was forced to pull away for the mission. 

~

“Octavia? Thank god you stayed,” I said breathlessly as Clarke and I arrived. 

“Of course I stayed,” she glared at Clarke. “I know where my loyalties lie.” 

Clarke looked around, “We have to get in there.” 

Octavia scoffed, “If that was possible, do you think I’d still be out here?” 

Something caught my eye and I leant over the box, “Shit, it’s Fox.”

“Why did Lexa sound the retreat?” Octavia asked. 

“She made a deal with Mount Weather to free the Grounders, and now we’re on our own,” Clarke replied before walking towards the big sealed door and banging on it. 

Octavia pulled her away, “Stop! They’ll know we’re here. What about Lincoln? He would’ve never gone along with a plan like this.” 

“He didn’t. They took him,” Clarke explained as she raised her gun towards the access panel. Octavia stepped in the way. 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

“I’m getting through that door.” 

I ignored them, an idea running through my head. If they can send the dead out through _there_ , I climbed into the container and stuck my head up inside it. _Does that mean we have a way in?_ “I’ll be right back,” I called to no one in particular, putting my back against one side of the tunnel and my feet against the other as I slowly began to shift myself up. It would work. It can work. It _has_ to work. It— _fuck_. I slipped back down, landing on top of Fox and groaning. It was a _stupid_ plan. That would never work. Sighing, I climbed out of the container and brushed myself down. “That door is the only way in, the only way we can get inside is if—” 

I was cut off by the door access panel beeping. I raised my gun as it creaked, swinging open to reveal… _Bellamy, Jasper and Monty._ Octavia rushed to him, pulling him into a hug and I did the same with Jasper and Monty. “Oh, thank god,” I whispered, clutching them tightly. 

“We need to be able to breathe to be able to fight, remember?” Monty laughed, causing me to release them sheepishly. 

“My bad. We have a slight problem on our end, but at least we now have a way in.” Bellamy released Octavia so that she could embrace Jasper and Monty and I pulled him into a hug, surprising him. “Thanks for not dying.” When I pulled away, I noticed a girl in a radiation suit and I tensed.

“Don’t worry, she’s with us. That’s Maya,” Bellamy explained. 

I grinned, “Maya, you’re a badass and I love you,” I pulled her into a hug as well and she smiled shyly. “Now, what’s our plan?” 

“Where’s your army?” Bellamy looked around and Clarke refused to meet his eyes. “What happened?”

“It’s gone, just like yours,” she replied. “Say you have a plan.” 

“Not really. We need to talk to Dante. Maya says he’s in quaran—” He stopped midway through his sentence to address the beeping noise coming from Maya’s oxygen tank. 

Jasper checked it and looked at me worriedly, “Thirty minutes. And we just changed it, that can’t be right. It’s her last tank…” He moved around Maya, trying to figure out what was going wrong. 

“We will find you another one,” Clarke reassured her. 

Maya shook her head, “All the supplemental oxygen is on level five.” 

“Then we have to get you to level five.”

“No, five isn’t safe for any of us,” tears filled her eyes. 

Jasper paced thinking, “We’ll take the trash chute again, it has to work.” 

“Maybe, but Maya’s right. Every soldier in this mountain is there. We’ll never make it out,” Bellamy grimaced. 

I shook my head decisively, “No, we can do this. We’ll split up. You guys go for Dante, we’ll help Maya.” 

Once inside, we split up. And then, unbeknownst to the other group, we split up again. I looked at Octavia, Jasper and Maya before sighing and running a hand through my hair. The screams were echoing and I couldn’t stand it. “You guys help Maya, the others are with Dante, I’m going to buy everyone some time.”

Jasper grabbed my arm, “What the hell do you think you’re doing? There’s no way you can take all of those guards down on your own.” 

“You’re right, there isn’t. But I’ll be damned if I don’t take a few of them down with me. You guys need to go to level five to save Maya. I’m going to go and do something stupid and reckless as per usual. Don’t follow me.” I set off at a run, following the screams until I reached a door that seemed like it used to be the dorm. Peering in, I saw someone on the operating table with what was left of a knee brace and I froze. _Raven._ Oh _hell_ no. 

I knocked on the door and ducked around the corner, jumping out and shooting the guard who opened it and putting my foot in the door so that it couldn’t close. Kicking it open, I raised the gun again and fired two bullets into the nearest two guards. Unfortunately, there were more than two guards there. Out of bullets, I tried to throw a knife at the surgeon with the drill, but one of the other soldiers caught me with a shock baton and I fell crashing to my knees, my aim slightly off so the knife landed in the arm instead of the doctor’s chest. 

They zapped me again and I fell flat on the floor, groaning. Another soldier chained me up and attached me to the wall. I looked to my side, giving a weak smile to Miller. 

“Do you ever think before you do things?” he whispered.

“I think the problem is that I _always_ think before I do things,” I replied, looking around the room. It wasn’t just the hundred, before I got here they must have caught the retreating army because as I scanned the people being held captive, I recognised Abby, Kane, Miller’s dad, Monroe… and Astrid. “Hey, you!” I called out to one of the guards. He looked up, frowning at me. “Yes, you. I’ve got a question for you.” 

He walked over, “What?” 

“Were you always a dick with no conscience, or is that something you learnt here?” I grabbed hold of the chains by my wrists and kicked off from the wall, slamming my boot up between his legs. He groaned in pain and leant forward, but not before I could bring my knee up to his face. The guard pulled out his shock baton and lashed it against my leg, putting enough volts through me to send me limp. I twitched.

“Did you think that through, too?” Miller whispered disapprovingly. 

“Yes,” I hissed back. “And I have no regrets.” I prepared to raise my voice again, standing on my tiptoes to raise my head above the hand-restraints, accessing the knife in my hair. "Hey. Hey, fucker. Yeah, that's right, you made such a great conversation the first time I'm back for more." 

He stood slightly further away this time, the shock baton in his hand as he raised an eyebrow. "Do you have an off button?"

"If I do, no one's found it yet," I smiled sweetly. "Do you like jokes?" 

"I'm impartial to them," he shrugged, continuing to stay just out of reach. 

"How about knock-knock jokes? I have a good one," I teased.

Miller joined in with a sigh, playing along. "She tells the _best_ jokes," he promised, knowing I had something planned. 

With nothing better to do, the man sighed and nodded. I grinned, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" 

"You want to stab."

"You want to stab who?" 

"You. I want to stab you," I laughed, pushing off from the wall with my feet to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close enough to jam the long, thin, knife into his neck. "See? I'm very funny." I released the man from my hold and he slumped to the floor, the knife still sticking out of his neck as blood pooled on the floor next to him. I nudged Miller, "You gotta admit, that was a good one." 

Before he could reply, my attention was captured by the man that walked in, when the surgeon called him ‘Sir’, I realised it must be Cage Wallace. He began barking orders, and soon Raven was hauled off the table and strung back up. The guards grabbed Abby and strapped her into the restraints on the table. 

“No one has to die for bone marrow, we can donate it!” Kane pleaded, “We can donate it.” 

“Strap her down,” Cage ordered.

“We can donate it!” Kane screamed.

Cage scoffed, “That will never happen.” 

“I can. I can make it happen with her help,” he pleaded. “We can all survive.”

Cage shook his head, “We can’t. Proceed with the drilling. Steady.” 

Abby began to scream and Cage turned away so that he wasn’t forced to look at it. I thought of the knife up my sleeve, a way to stop this, but there wasn’t enough room for my hands to move which meant there’d be no way for me to get a decent enough shot in. 

I sighed in half-defeat. At least I’d tried, and their numbers were slightly down. I looked up and locked eyes with Astrid half-heartedly, about to mouth something to her when another guard walked in. I gasped when I realised, the kid he had captive with him was none other than _Jasper._ He led him to one of the restraints on the wall and cuffed him in next to Harper. 

Only he wasn’t cuffed. 

I watched in horror as Jasper slipped his restraints and produced a knife, the guards crowding around him. Before he had a chance to do anything, an alarm sounded and people began to collapse. _Radiation._ Jasper ran out the door and I realised why. _Maya_. Less than five minutes after Jasper left, the alarm was still blaring as Octavia rushed in and began to unlock people’s cuffs. Once others were free, they unlocked each other. I watched as Miller and his dad hugged, Monty and Harper ran to each other… Bellamy and Clarke came in and Clarke was reunited with her mother. 

Astrid ran over and unlocked me and I fell into her arms, dazed. “Well today has been eventful, hasn’t it?” She smiled, propping me up.

“Eventful? For me it’s just an average Tuesday,” I laughed, leaning on her for support.

“It’s Saturday,” she whispered.

“Good,” I replied. “I never liked Tuesdays anyway.”

~

The walk back to Camp Jaha was longer than usual since a lot of people were keeping pace with or carrying the injured. The rest of the people from the Ark rushed to greet us and help, and I slowly walked along at the back of the line with my earbuds in, listening to a random song I hadn’t been bothered to check the name of yet. Bellamy was waiting by the gate post and I hovered just inside the gates as he went over to her, watching as the others made their way inside the camp. I stayed where I was, not wanting to intrude. Irradiating level five was a hard decision, and I knew she couldn’t be taking it easily. She shook her head at Bellamy, tears brimming in her eyes as she kissed his cheek and pulled him in for a hug, before leaving him to walk back into the camp. 

Clarke walked off into the forest and I watched her go with a sigh. If this was what she needed to do, if this was what was best for her… then we had to let her go. Bellamy reached me, turning back once to look back at where she had been standing. I gave him a half-smile and pulled him into a hug. 

“She’ll be okay,” I whispered.

“Will we? She’s the reason we’re still alive.” 

“Not at first, but… we’ll get there. Besides, she didn’t do it all alone. A lot of that was you, and as long as we still have you then we’ll definitely be okay.” 

“Alyssa!” We both looked up to see Astrid waving, and I broke into a smile.

Bellamy gave me a small smile and looked at Astrid and then me, “Happiness looks good on you. Go on.” 

I laughed, “You’re coming too. After all this… we all need a drink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from the song "Kill Your Heroes" by AWOLNATION.


End file.
